Orthodox brides and grooms do not see each other for at least a week before the wedding.  Before the wedding ceremony, the bride (kallah) and groom (chattan) have separate receptions where they greet their guests.  The groom’s reception was men only (you will notice a lot of gender separation in my explanations), but the bride’s reception was mixed gender.  We had awhile to mingle before Rachel arrived–the reception was essentially an elaborate cocktail party with a live band, an open bar, a sushi station with sushi makers, a carving station, hummus, pasta, crudite, cut fruit, and salads.

Before heading into the reception--this is the only time all night my shoulders were uncovered, modesty was definitely in style this evening!

My sister and me, before heading into the reception.

The men of the family, enacting a pose often favored by some of our late patriarchs.

One of the food tables at the reception.

The bridal "throne," surrounded by seats for the female relatives of the bride and groom.

After about half an hour, Rachel was led into the reception by her mother (my dad’s sister) and Raffi’s mother.  She was followed by her sister (my cousin Sarah) and the grandmothers of the bride and groom.

Rachel, being led into the reception by her mother and the groom's mother.

The back of Rachel's beautiful dress.

Rachel, greeting guests.

My extended family, converging on Rachel.

Jon, my sister, and me with some of my cousins.

With my mother and sister.

Rachel greeted her guests for about forty-five minutes.  My dad popped into the men’s reception and basically said it was a bunch of Orthodox men, sitting around eating and drinking.  Makes sense.  Oh, by the way, the bride and groom do not eat or drink at these receptions, because it is customary for them to fast all day.

After about forty-five minutes a huge commotion erupted by the entrance to the men’s reception.  The Bedekken (veiling) ceremony had begun.  Raffi was led into the women’s reception by his friends, who were singing, dancing, clapping, and making a big ruckus.  The room parted and Raffi processed to where Rachel was sitting.  Rachel’s friends were now singing as well, and the noise and energy in the room was insane.  Raffi approached Rachel (remember, they haven’t seen each other in a week) and veiled her.  This is a combination of a reference of the biblical story of Jacob, Leah, and Rachel and also another reminder of the modesty and the purity of the bride.  I’d never seen a Bedekken, and all the singing and dancing and spirit made it incredibly beautiful and moving.

Raffi, approaching Rachel for the Bedekken, surrounded by their singing and clapping friends.

After veiling Rachel, Raffi was led out for the Chuppah ceremony, the official wedding ceremony.  Rachel started preparing herself as well.

Rachel, taking off her jewelry before the Chuppah ceremony--a bride is supposed to go to her wedding as unadorned as possible.

Rachel headed off to the Chuppah ceremony and the guests all followed.  The Chuppah means “canopy,” and it refers to the canopy under which the wedding ceremony takes place.  The wedding ceremony was gender separate, women on one side of the aisle and men on the other side.

Unfortunately, I had a very negative Orthodox experience right before the ceremony.  I decided to use the ladies’ room right before the ceremony, and I was in a rush as to not miss anything.  I rounded a corner and almost ran into a black hat wearing, Hasidic man.  I said “excuse me,” as one does to be polite, and he shushed me.  He went “shhh.”  Because I was a woman.  And I had spoken to him.  I was pretty furious, as you can imagine.  Much of Orthodox Judaism has a bad reputation for being inflexible, outdated, and unequal regarding women’s rights and you know what?  People like the man I ran into in the hallway justify that reputation.

Buuuut this isn’t a post about my opinions about Orthodox Judaism and women’s rights, this is a post about my cousin’s beautiful wedding!  So, back to it.

The wedding ceremony started as would any wedding ceremony–Raffi was escorted down the aisle by his mother.  Raffi then donned a kittel, a white, pocketless robe sometimes worn by Jewish men at weddings and usually worn by Rabbis and Cantors during the High Holidays (it is worn during other occasions as well, and Jewish men are often buried in one).  The grandmothers of the bride and groom also walked down the aisle.  Rachel’s brother and sister then processed to the Chuppah, followed by Rachel who was escorted by her parents.

Under the Chuppah, waiting for Rachel.

Rachel and her mother.

The wedding ceremony starts with the bride circling the groom seven times, to symbolize the seven days of Creation and the building of a new life as a couple.  The ceremony includes the reading of the Ketubah (marriage contract), the reading of seven blessings by seven different people (usually honored guests or members of the family, although since this was an Orthodox service only men performed the blessings.  My father did the second one), and a giving of a ring to the bride (again, not gender equal, only the groom gives a ring to the bride–sort of an acquisition sort of thing).

Rachel, circling Raffi seven times to symbolize the building of their life together.

The wedding ceremony.

The ceremony ended with Raffi stomping on a glass (you’ve probably seen that in movies or on tv) and everyone yelling “mazal tov!” and all that good stuff.  However, the couple did not process orderly down the aisle.  Instead, once the glass was shattered, Rachel and Raffi were RUSHED like it was a rock concert and they were on a stage.  And then they were more or less carried out of the room by their friends, who were singing and dancing and all that good, energetic stuff.

Rachel and Raffi, being led/carried/pushed out of the room.

Oh just a side note–this is the first time Rachel and Raffi have touched in three or four years.  While they dated in high school they did all the normal making out and hand holding things that high schoolers do.  However, when they decided to become Orthodox, they chose to adopt the practice called shomer negiah.  This means that they only touch members of the opposite sex who are relations.  So Rachel could hug her dad and brother, but she and Raffi could not even hold hands until they were married.  Just a fun fact.

Anyways, since Rachel and Raffi had been fasting all day they were led to a room where they could eat a meal and spend some time alone together.  The rest of us headed to the reception.

At the reception.

At the reception.

With all my cousins at the reception.

Soon Rachel and Raffi’s friends started lining up to prepare for their arrival to the reception.

Waiting for Rachel and Raffi to arrive

As soon as Rachel and Raffi arrived, crazy dancing started guys.  Rachel and Raffi were each led off to their sides of the floor (the dancing was gender separate) as a mechitzah, a barrier separating men from women, was lowered from the ceiling (the mechitzah in this case was a curtain that could be raised and lowered as necessary depending on whether or not dancing was happening).  The dancing was really insane, and it went on for a good 45 minutes before people stopped to eat their dinners.  The band was a sixteen-piece, Jewish/Klezmer/Hebrew style ensemble.  The ballroom had a balcony from which I took a few pictures, but I also got down into the fray and danced some with Rachel myself.  But let me tell you, it was nuts in there.

Rachel, being led onto the dance floor.

The dance floor, seen from above.

The dance floor, as seen from above.

Dancing paused for dinner, but then resumed pretty quickly.  The second round of dancing included the “shtick,” which is when the friends of the bride and groom perform skits and talents for the bride and groom’s entertainment.

Some shtick.

This wedding really spared no expense guys.  I mean, there were even bowls of delicious French macarons for the taking at the open bar!  Genius!  Also, check out the cute R&R logo that was designed specifically for the wedding.

The R&R Logo, projected in light on the dance floor.

The rest of the night passed by with a combination of dancing, some dessert, some more dancing and socializing, and some family type pictures.

My family with Shirley, my late grandmother's closest friend.

My family and Jon.

More dancing--Rachel and her mother in the center of a parachute thing.

My incredibly attractive and well-dressed parents.

I headed upstairs around 11:00-11:30, because I had a 7:45am flight back to North Carolina to go to work the next day–did I mention that the wedding was on Sunday night (Jews don’t get married on Shabbat).  Monday was a pretty sleepy day–I had a lot of recovering to do from one of the most entertaining and eventful weddings I had ever attended!

My sister and me with the bride!

I hope that you enjoyed the wedding stories and the wedding pictures!  I learned a lot about Orthodox Jewish wedding traditions and was glad to have had the experience.  Below are a few links to videos of the dancing and the shtick, just to give you a better idea of what the reception was like.

The Dancing.

The Shtick.

Thanks for reading, and mazal tov to Raffi and Rachel!

]]> http://thedilettantista.com/2012/01/24/rachel-getting-married/feed/ 2 lhgordon DSC03929 DSC03931 DSC03935 DSC03941 DSC03939 DSC03944 DSC03945 DSC03947 DSC03953 DSC03958 DSC03955 DSC03963 DSC03971 DSC03979 DSC03983 DSC03987 DSC03992 DSC04002 DSC04006 DSC04012 DSC04015 DSC04020 DSC04025 DSC04038 DSC04040 DSC04078 DSC04093 DSC04097 DSC04098 DSC04106 DSC04109 DSC04101 http://thedilettantista.com/2012/01/18/things-i-will-miss-if-sopa-actually-happens/ http://thedilettantista.com/2012/01/18/things-i-will-miss-if-sopa-actually-happens/#comments Thu, 19 Jan 2012 03:56:43 +0000 The Dilettantista http://thedilettantista.com/?p=3180 ]]> So I’m not good at understanding legal stuff, but I think I have a basic comprehension of this SOPA/PIPA grossness.  I’m sure you do too.  I hope you’ve taken some time today to contact your Congress people about it.  Wikipedia has a handy-dandy thing where you can put in your zip code and it will give you all the contact information for your area.  I used it earlier today, it was a good thing.

So, rather than tell you about SOPA, because everyone is probably telling you about SOPA, I’m going to show you some of the awesome things on the internet that I will TOTALLY MISS if SOPA actually happens.  I will miss these things because they will become illegal, and that would be terrible.

This amazing Mad Men image.

Downton Abbeyoncé.

Hey girl.  I like the library too.  Hey girl, art.  And any variation of Ryan Gosling meme.

So that’s just a small gathering of stuff that is awesome that would disappear if SOPA happened.  The internet is full of good, guys.  Let us not ruin it, am I right?

What would you miss, if SOPA actually (ungh, terror of terrors) came to pass?

(My sing-song would involve bringing me like, foie gras or an ice cream sundae or something, because ham has just never done it for me y’all, and it is not because I am Jewish.  Treif is delicious, just not ham).

So we all have our, you know, normal selves.  And then we have our performer/singer/writer selves.  And sometimes the writer self is all: “Bitch, write more blogs please.”  But then the normal self is all: “But my life is pretty dull right now.  My job is good, and I go to the gym five or six times a week, and I play with my cats and I read a lot of epic fantasy, and this is all well and good but it doesn’t really make for riveting blogging so I’ll just rewatch that Downton Abbey episode where the Turkish diplomat dies while having sex with Lady Mary,” and as you can imagine this conversation isn’t really useful in terms of me actually writing.  So I guess I just need to punch my normal self in the face and, you know, write like a motherfucker.

Anyways, this is what I’ve been doing with my quiet, uneventful life as of late.

I’m totally caught up on Downton Abbey, which is so awesome guys, although Season 2 thus far has a lot of World War I in it, and a lot of war hospitals, and that makes me a little squeamish.  But still, early-version curling irons, and elbow-length gloves, and Dowager Countess hats!

I’m eating a ton of lentils lately.  This is because I am poor and have to pay off some credit card debt from funemployment and lentils are cheap and also because lentils are good for you and easy to make!  Also, easy to take for lunch–I like easy lunches.  Even the non-lentil centric meal I made this Saturday (the Moroccan-Style Lentil and Chickpea Soup with Lamb and Roasted Tomatoes from Bon Appetit’s Food Lover’s Cleanse) was chock full of lentils guys.  I guess it is a thing.

So yes, my hair looks nice, my writer self will overcome my normal self (hopefully), and lentils are delicious.  I hope y’all are having a lovely Tuesday.

I won’t say much more about Downtown Abbey except that the lines “One swallow does not make a summer” and “What is a week end?” have been uttered, the latter by the AMAZING Maggie Smith.  Also, THIS RIDING COAT GUYS:

Wow guys, look at that riding coat.  Look at the skirt on that riding coat. I loathe horses (remind me to tell you about my one horseback riding experience one day, it basically encapsulates all that is problematic in my daily life), but I think equestrian fashion is amazing.  AND THAT COAT.  I want to wear it, I want to wear it and be an equestrian British Goth chick because that coat is amazing and beautiful and probably swings really nicely when you walk.  I would get on a horse again, just to wear that coat.

Okay, maybe not the horse part, but, you know, WANT.

I had a friend who went to a Florida game at LSU and they saw rednecks fans rednecks dragging around dead baby alligators.

Also Alabama is just terrible.

So basically I loathe both of these teams.

Anyways, read the article on BroNYCon, it will make your night better.  I mean people give testimonials on how the ponies saved their lives guys:

Steve Decker, a Maryland Brony who was selling from his stock of hundreds of My Little Pony toys, each of them carefully enclosed in a Ziploc baggie, said that “My Little Pony” saved his life when he discovered it in 2004. His work as a student loan collections officer was making him suicidal. “My job was literally to ruin peoples’ lives,” he said. “Every day, I’d hope to get into an accident and die on my way to work.” Looking for some small, simple happiness, he went to Toys “R” Us. The boy toys were all focused on killing and violence, while many of the girls’ dolls were slutty or stupid, he said. The 2-for-1 sale on My Little Ponies clinched it for him.

See guys, friendship is magic.

Look at how appropriate this image is guys!

They’ve realized that physical activity is not optional.

This is something I’ve come to realize in my past year of gym-going.  I’ve always been pretty regular about the gym;  I’m lucky, I have two parents who go to the gym 5-6 times a week despite often working until 7:00 or 8:00 at night.  They’ve been frequent gym-goers for as long as I can remember, and when I became old enough to use the gym at the JCC I joined them.  So from age 14 on I’ve been going to the gym.  Sure, I’ve dropped the ball for a few months here or there, and the year and a half I spent working retail was a bit sparse in gym-going, but I’ve always been able to pick it back up.  My period of funemployment caused (enabled?) me to be one of those people who schedule their days around their work-out, and I’m happy to say that after five weeks at the Durham Arts Council I am still sticking with my fitness routine of at least an hour a day, 5-6 days a week.  And this is because I know now that remaining physically active is just not an option in America today.

You don’t have to go to the gym and take classes like I do.  You can be a runner–I’m not a runner, that isn’t for me.  You can go rock climbing, or hiking, or swim laps–whatever, you just have to do something.  We sit around too much, and we eat too much, and it is way too easy to get overweight and unhealthy (as evidenced by much of America) for physical activity to be optional.

I’m not saying anything new here, so I apologize if this is boring.  But it is how I explain myself to people who react in shock and awe when I tell them that, yes, I do work all day, and then I put on my gym clothes at work and go straight to the gym.  It just isn’t optional.  I look at going to the gym the way I look at going to work: it is something I have to do, even if I don’t really want to.

I’m hoping that the resolutionists now clogging up my gym have this realization as well, I really do.  I won’t enjoy fighting for floor space in my classes, but I’ll be happier knowing that another group of people is adopting a healthier lifestyle with the realization that this just isn’t a choice anymore.  It is a necessity.

Happy Turquoise Jeep Discovery Day.

Both teams are 6 and 6, which is just pathetic and sad, but it would be nice to beat the Buckeyes (again) because Urban Meyer just et tu Brutused (heh) us and is now headed there to coach.  Sigh.  Anyways, YAY FOOTBALL PLEASE LET US BE BETTER NEXT YEAR.

Today is also being brought to you by the sleeping kitten in my lap and by my flat-iron staying put in its box.  Don’t you love those days where you don’t do your hair or put on any makeup?  Is that just me?  I don’t have many of them, so I’m sure my hair and skin cherishes each and every one.

Back to work tomorrow!  I hope y’all are enjoying this last day of laziness as much as I am.

I went out on Amateur Night, because I am definitely an amateur who rarely goes out.  Jon and I had dinner here (good food, TERRIBLE service, but we’ll try them one more time on a non-holiday night because we did enjoy the food), and then we went to Motorco with some friends for their big end of the year bash.  So that was fun and it was hosted by one of those women who sort of looks like a drag queen because she was maybe in a costume and has a lot of makeup and maybe stuffed her boobs and had fake nipples and whatever I loved her.  Anyways, because throughout the night I had 1.5 glasses of champagne and a shot of tequila and because I am not good at going out or drinking, this morning I was feeling sleepies until I ate a giant breakfast and now maybe I will go for a run/walk OUTSIDE because it is like 65 degrees outside y’all and even though the gym is open it is probably full of resolutioners and they are terrible.

So anyways, a Happy New Year to each and every one of you and I hope you are having a lovely Sunday/New Year’s Day!

Oh hey, and checkout my awesome new background of a lady laughing alone while eating a salad.  That is so going to be me this month you guys, I promise!

So I’ve been acclimating to my new job, which I still like although this week, as you can imagine, was mega-slow.  I am resolving to go into 2012 with lots of optimism and enthusiasm, especially because I went into 2011 with a general sense of doom and a feeling of failure in regards to my career search.  New job, new attitude, old cliches!

This will be a sort of scattered-about, catch-up post since I have been VANISHED IN JOB LAND (sorry y’all).  I’ve been meaning to post about this trip I took home to Sarasota way back in November, but it clearly isn’t going to happen.  Instead I’ll just post a few pictures of the Siesta Key Crystal Classic, an international sand sculpture competition that was taking place the weekend I was in town.  If any of you watch Sand Masters, most of those folks were present.  The sculptures were only partially done when I saw them, but they were still 100% amazing.  Here are a few of my favorites:

If you look closely you can see a skull between the teeth, inside the fish.

This one was titled "The Five Senses."

So that’s awesome right?  PS if you didn’t already know, Siesta Key is an awesome beach in Sarasota that currently holds the #1 spot on Dr. Beach’s Best Beaches in America list.  Siesta is famous for its white, pure sand that has the consistency of sugar.  The beach is also incredibly wide.  It is an unbelievably beautiful spot.

Anyways, RESOLUTIONS!  Do y’all have any?  Mine are pretty vague:  MORE VEGETABLES, MORE BLOGGING, MORE SLEEP (I really need 8 hours guys I have to stop lying to myself), MORE GRATITUDE, LESS WHINING.   I think that about covers it.  What about you?

While you ponder your goals for next year, here are a few items with which I have been 100% obsessed lately:

1) Sand Cats.  I didn’t know these guys existed.  They are tiny, adorable cats that live in deserts in North Africa.  They are THE BEST and I want one so much y’all.

LOOK AT HOW CUTE THAT IS LOOK LOOK LOOK.

2)  Barbara Cook‘s tribute at this year’s Kennedy Center Honors.  Barbara Cook is legend and they got an incredible line up of ladies to serenade her, including Kelli O’Hara, Glenn Close, Audra McDonald who I love love love, Patti Lupone and, of course, my sister’s good friend Sutton Foster (who I also love love love).  Here’s the video:

Wasn’t that the best guys?

3) Also the best is Robyn’s “Call Your Girlfriend,” which is probably my new favorite song.  I mean, look at this music video:

Why can’t IIIIII dance like that y’all?  If I did that I’d look ridiculous but Robyn looks like a Swedish angel from Ikea-heaven.  WANT.  Also, have you seen SNL’s spot-on recreation of said video?  Taran Killam doesn’t really look like a Swedish angel, but he is rocking that pink fuzzy crop top:

And because I am THOROUGH and I adore all of you, here is the side by side of the two videos.  You’re welcome:

Okay so I’m going to stop here now, before I talk about how I am reading Stephen Sondheim’s giant compendium where he talks about all his lyrics ever (I. Die.) and how I am watching Dr. Who and DAVID TENNANT JUST WENT AWAY NOOOO WHY and also before I talk about how I joined Pinterest and so can you!  After all, I need to leave some content unwritten for next year’s resolution of WRITE MORE BLOG THINGS OKAY.

Anyways, thanks for reading, and Happy New Year everyone!