Remember last Sunday?  When the world was a different place?  When people actually cared about soccer?  When the World Cup final happened and some European or South American country beat some other European or South American country to win glory and fame, at least until the next World Cup in 2014?  No?  You don’t remember?  Well, let me remind you:

BRRRRZZZZZZZZZBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBRBBRBRBRBRRBRBRBRBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

See?  Now you remember.   Last Sunday you were probably watching soccer, where grown men–in this case Spanish and Dutch men–kick around a ball to the glorious chorus of the vuvuzela.

Just in case you’ve forgotten what the vuvuzela sounds like:

Now, I didn’t so much mind the vuvuzela after awhile.  I was sort of fascinated by the worldwide, well, fascination/irritation with this weird, long, multi-colored plastic shofar like object that, when heard en masse on television, sounded like a giant swarm of killer bees.  I don’t really miss soccer, friends, but I do miss the vuvuzela.

So, you’re wonderful, what does this have to do with Dragon*Con?  Well, let me tell you.  When confronted with the unfamiliar nerds, like most people, like to translate said foreign object into something comforting.  For instance, putting it into the language of The Lord of the Rings.

See?  Isn’t that funny?  The vuvuzela is now the Horn of Gondor?  Get it?

Even better is The Fellowship of the Vuvuzela.

Guys, wasn’t that amazing?  My favorite is the weird bouncy techno interpretations of the Shire theme.  How do I make that my ringtone?

So the moral of the story is this: World Cup 2010 was not about soccer, it was about the vuvuzela.

One vuvuzela to rule them all, One vuvuzela to find them,
One vuvuzela to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.