I feel that “diet” is a dirty word because too often it connotes the idea of a woman trying with all her might to look like those impossibly skinny, starving models in Vogue and Cosmo.  But here’s the deal y’all: I am on a diet.  I am calorie counting on MyFitnessPal.  I am eliminating many carbs from the foods I eat.  And you know what?  That is okay.

It is okay because America is an obese nation and it is really easy to let those extra five pounds go, until those extra five pounds are suddenly an extra fifty pounds and you are starring at XXXL stretchy waistband pants in a sports catalogue.  It is okay because I could probably stand to lose an extra ten pounds to get a head-start on that pesky slowing metabolism that happens as you get older, supposedly even before you are thirty (ungh).  It is okay because why shouldn’t I want to be my best, fittest self?  Not necessarily my thinnest self, because i will never be a thin, lithe, small-hipped or small-breasted lady, but my fittest self.  I will go to the gym for an hour six times a week not to punish myself for that cookie, but because it will help me get into awesome shape.  I will eat vegetables not because I want to lose weight but because they are good for me and will give me vitamins or whatever.  I will put down that last piece of fried chicken.  And maybe I’ll lose some extra weight on the side because changes in my DIET can only have a positive, healthy effect on my general make-up as a human being.

So, okay, I am on a funemployment diet.  Salads are my friend.  As is fruit.  Bread is not my friend, sadly.  But bread is only banned temporarily, because once I finish this SPECIFIC DIET I can go back to working bread into my normal diet, but in a normal way not in a I will eat this whole baguette way.

The point is, I have a lot of time on my hand nowadays, so why not spend it trying to be awesome and fit?