Sup bitches! I’m going to be liveblogging the Tonys this year despite not having seen ANY of the shows–and it saddens me to say that this is the first time, in a long time, this has happened (first world problems). So come, experience the Tonys with me! Like everyone else in the world I am pulling for The Book of Mormon and Sutton Foster. Also, Josh Gad from The Book of Mormon for the arbitrary reason that he was a forensic’s dude like me. Victory! Neil Patrick Harris is awesome so hopefully this will be a great night. Maybe he can even come onstage as Dr. Horrible to stoke the fires of a Dr. Horrible musical on Broadway? Yes? Please? Anyways, Tonys start at 8:00, and I should be liveblogging the whole thing…unless Jon convinces me to turn on HBO at 9:00 to catch tonight’s episode of Game of Thrones. This is a definite possibility, people.

If you are interested, NYMag is showing photos of the red carpet. First impressions: Kate Flannery looks old in that hair and that dress, David Burtka and NPH are just too damn good looking in perfect suits (duh), the Priscilla Queen of the Desert costume designers brought drag queens which are, of course, the best accessory anyone could have, I think Jennifer Damiano’s yellow dress is cute but I am not digging the matching yellow platform heels (too matchy matchy!), Patina Miller’s dress is awesome though I have only seen it from the back, and Sutton Foster should have gone with an actual color rather than mud, though her stylist did a good job with her hair and her makeup. Also, was expecting more of a crazy outfit vibe from Trey Parker and Matt Stone, but maybe they’ve grown up.
Additionally–not that you should read them instead of me, mind you–the NYTimes will be liveblogging the Tonys here and NYMag will be liveblogging the Tonys here. Also, a few awards have already happened (ungh). The Book of Mormon won best score and orchestration and Kathleen Marshall won best choreography for Anything Goes. Kathleen Marshall’s win means that Mormon will not win all the awards for which it is nominated, but I am pretty sure it will clean up. Also, evidently Athol Fugard won an award and his speech was not broadcasted?!?! That is just so lame. Anyways, onto the televised portion of the show!
8:00: And we begin! NPH I love you so much. Please sing for me. Have people really never seen theater? Since when has it been just for gays? What about Jews and ladies? My, they have a lot of random religion choruses to pull from this year, don’t they? Sailors too! Damn that’s gay. Oh hey thanks for shouting out the Jews. Oh god Brooke Shields forgot her little solo part. Stephen Colbert didn’t though amazing what happens in live theater, right?!