So today I was talking to my friend who was telling me about how last Saturday night he watched Brokeback Mountain with popcorn and cookies and beer with the lights off and he said he cried a lot. Which, unsurprising guys, have you seen that movie?
Anyways, we then started talking about the film adaptation of Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club which is pretty much the most cry-ful movie in the history of ever. If you have ever had any iota of an issue with your mother or your cultural upbringing or guilt about straying from the motherland ever (and if you have not ever had these issues then what the fuck are you, a robot?) then you will cry through this movie. You will cry so much. I don’t want to give away any spoilers because it is a fantastic movie but there is a lot of war and rape and suicide and infanticide and mother-daughter fights and mother-daughter reconciliations and some divorces that needed to happen and marriages that needed to happen and oh also a (SPOILER GUYS SPOILER SPOILER) reunion with LONG LOST FAMILY MEMBERS in CHINA and it is just really intense y’all. Especially at the end with the (SPOILER GUYS SPOILERS) amazing reunion, I just lose it. I’m a mess.
Here’s a great scene. It involves crabs. No not those kind of crabs, y’all. Best quality crabs.
Anyways, you want to know what other movie makes me cry? Fiddler on the Roof guys. When I tell people that I am an Ashkenazic Jew (did y’all know that Jews have different cultural, genealogical, geographical groups and backgrounds? You didn’t? You thought we were all the same with our horns and noses? Please read this) and they look at me like I am insane, I usually clarify by saying that my ancestors came from a village (or shtetl if I am to be precise) similar to Anatevka in Fiddler on the Roof. Just with a lot less singing and dancing, presumably. And maybe more pogroms. Also, if the person to whom I am speaking has never seen or heard of Fiddler on the Roof (which, WHAT?! this is American people come on), then I usually just say I’m an Eastern European mutt from all of those countries that used to be the U.S.S.R. Like the Ukraine. Or Lithuania. ANYWAYS.
So Fiddler on the Roof totally makes me cry, y’all. And at ridiculous parts too. Like the bottle dance at the wedding between Tzeitel and Motel.
If for some ridiculous reason you have never seen Fiddler on the Roof (guys, really?), here is the great Bottle Dancing Scene:
This is just really an amazing moment (and thanks to Jerome Robbins for choreographing it and being generally awesome), and I totally want bottle dancers at my wedding if I were ever to get married. Also, I just Googled “do bottle dances actually happen at Jewish weddings?” and I got a link to THIS AMAZING THING so I could actually have bottle dancing at my hypothetical wedding y’all! The best.
The Dilettantista 
I had tears streaming behind my 3D glasses during Toy Story 3. My mom and girlfriend were stone-faced, but I could hear my stepdad sobbing a few seats down.
Maybe it was just a guy thing?
No I was definitely extremely teary-eyed during Toy Story 3 (no 3-D glasses, though, I really don’t believe in 3-D in most cases and think it is ruining movies, but that’s another story). I am extremely connected to some of my childhood toys, to the point where I have a few with me up here in NC. Mostly stuffed animals, mostly Mickeys…maybe one day I’ll show you, only my closest friends have met the Mickey. I actually cried a bit more in Toy Story 2 during the Jessie musical memory montage, but that’s probably because I cannot resist a good memory musical montage (UP much? Oi). So no, you are not alone.