Okay, so actually, Natalie Portman named her son Aleph.

For those of you who do not know what an Aleph is, here is an Aleph:

Oh wait you don’t know what that is?  That’s okay.  It is the first letter in the Hebrew alphabet.  When we learn the Hebrew alphabet in Hebrew School we call it learning the “Aleph Bet” (get it, alphabet?)

Anyways, Natalie Portman has basically named her kid “A.”  I mean, what if I named my hypothetical nonexistent kid “A”?  He’d get laughed off the playground, that’s what would happen.

You know what would be even better?  If I named my hypothetical kid “Alpha” (which is what Aleph morphed into, in Greek, I think).  Because then I could name my second hypothetical kid “Beta” and give said child a HUGE complex, because that child would never be the Alpha sibling.  Never ever.

Ungh, celebrities are so dumb guys.