Once again it is Wednesday, and once again it is time for another amazing Work of Art episode and a hopefully amazing Work of Art liveblog. Just a refresher: last week we met our fourteen contestants, who had names like Sucklord and Jazz-Minh (ungh), and the contestants weathered their first challenge. The artists took kitsch and attempted to make it art. Michelle won with her gorgeous totem pole and paper skeleton installation, and Ugo lost with his incredibly boring, incredibly red wall hanging thing. Farewell Ugo, you were pretty, but boring, just like your piece was.
This week it looks like we will be introduced to something called Parkour (ungh). Also, Lisa Loeb look alike Kathryn will do some really ugly crying! Excitement!
9:00: And we’re off! Everyone is nervous to see who returns from the six contestants who were asked to remain. And no one seems really upset that Ugo is the one who got eliminated. However, everyone talks about Ugo like he has just died: “He was a nice guy.” Of course Sucklord offers: “Nice guys finish last.” Thanks, Sucklord. You’re an asshole.
9:01: And it appears that we are going to see China in that awful red dress that has a HOLE IN IT at the beginning of every episode this season. Disaster.
9:02: 6:30am wakeup call from Simon, who shouts “wakey wakey.” Oh, he’s adorable. He is taking the group on a “journey.”
9:03: And their destination is…a brick yard, with China standing in the middle, wearing what looks like a poncho that was knit by Big Bird. Disaster. And then: SURPRISE! Lots of athletic dudes start vaulting over the walls. Oh and a girl too! They are the members of New York Parkour, and Parkour is some sort of movement thing? They don’t really explain much, I assume if I want to learn more then I will have to Google “Parkour,” but I’m too lazy to do that now, sorry guys. Edit 10:06: Okay, I Googled Parkour. Here you go guys, Parkour.
9:04: The task is revealed. The artists will be split into two teams and will create a piece on “movement.” Except, every artist is going to create his or her own work, and that all has to mesh into one team work, or something like that. I foresee egos and disasters. Excitement.
9:05: Team one is the “Sucklord” team, and team two is the everyone else team. China and Simon leave the artists to talk with the Parkour folks and to brainstorm.
9:06: Michelle wants to do a pooping piece. Michelle?! Sucklord is all “WTF does that have to do with motion.” Evidently Team One is going to do a piece on digestion. Okay then! Team 2 is going to do a piece on migration. Somehow this seems better to me than digestion, but that’s probably just because I am squeamish and don’t really need to know what goes on in other people’s bodies.
9:07: Um so Jazz-Minh, who is crazy and a B, starts doing flips and such across the yard. She decides to try to take some photography of herself and another Parkour person doing backflips, because this will somehow work for her artwork.
9:08: Team Two wanders around New York and goes dumpster diving, in an attempt to find art materials. Team One walks around New York, takes pictures, get confused, talks about uncertainty, and motion. I’m sort of bored by this already, guys, and my cat just started eating the Halloween decorations, so this commercial break is well timed!