Once again it is Wednesday, and once again it is time for another amazing Work of Art episode and a hopefully amazing Work of Art liveblog. Just a refresher: last week we our fourteen contestants were now thirteen, and they still had names like Sucklord and Jazz-Minh (ungh), and the contestants weathered their second challenge. Oh also, Jeanne from last season was the guest judge, I love her. The artists had to create exhibits based on movement as embodied by Parkour. Bayete won with his simple yet moving video piece, and Kathryn lost with her stagnant, academically limited video piece. Also, ugly crying. Farewell Kathryn, you may have looked like , but your ivory tower ramblings and overuse of the phrase “visceral tableau” (and ugly crying) were dreadful.
This week the artists are tasked to create a piece of POP (yes, they spelled POP in all caps in the episode summary) art that reflects current popular culture. I’m guessing they’ll be going to visit the Andy Warhol sculpture near Union Square? Let us get to it!
9:00: Heeeey we’re back! Guess who just had a big margarita? THIS GIRL. This will be awesome. The survivors trickle back to the loft and recap the critique for those who did not see it, I basically recapped it above, so no worries y’all.
9:01: CHINA YOUR DUMB DRESS STILL HAS AIN IT WTF. Ungh. We’re going to have to look at this shit all season y’all.
9:02: Michelle talks about how being in the top two for two times in a row is making her nervous, because she could just as easily be in the bottom.. Anyways, everyone’s on their way to Simon’s gallery on Park Avenue. I’ve been by there! Young Sun says it is like going to the house of royalty. When they get to the gallery they have a line of tin cans to follow. I’m guessing this is their ANDY WARHOL INTRODUCTION?!
9:03: OH SNAP IT IS. The artists arrive in a room filled with blank tin cans, with an AndyCan canvas hanging in midair (seemingly). Sarah K. is all “Oh wow I’m seeing it in person” (which, girl, come on, Andy’s art is all about reproduction so he doesn’t really give a shit whether or not you ever saw it in person) and Young Sun is all “my last piece was inspired by Andy. Of course.
9:04: POP IS BOLD. POP IS BRAVE. POP IS SEX. POP IS LIFE. POP IS FRESH. POP IS POLITICAL. SO MAKE IT POP. Simon said all that (of course), right after China, in a weird turquoise jacket thing with giant black dots, tells the artists that their task is to make a pop art piece. Oh goody, this should be awesome.
9:05: Utrecht Art Supplies! The budget for each artist is $150. Jazz-Minh doesn’t know pop culture, because she’s a HIPPIE. The Sucklord is going to make a giant piece about Charlie Sheen, complete with tiger’s blood and warlock dust. He also needs to pose naked for him, because he needs a naked sexy lady. Okie dokie.
9:06: Young Sun and Dusty and Tewz discuss their feelings on pop art. Tewz feels that he could be a contender to win because he loves Nintendo and Mutant Ninja Turtles. He’s making a Fad-X truck, which will ship in pop art, that could be funny. It will probably be awful. Kymia believes that pop art is about art that sells you something; she’s making an environmental piece about water bottles…
9:07:…And she’s photographing herself naked for it! Lots of boobies in this challenge y’all. Dusty’s going to do a piece on fast food, because his dad has had heart attacks, and because he lives in Arkansas and I guess they only have fast food in Arkansas? I don’t know y’all.
9:08: Sucklord is attracted to Lola, despite having a girlfriend, who will cut his balls off if he says something about being attracted to Lola, which he does anyways. He does not, btw, photograph Lola naked. I guess I misunderstood. Leon decides to do a picture of American countries sort of juxtaposed against an. He does it on glass. Pretty. Jazz-Minh is doing a piece based on Brittany grimacing for the papparazzi. She’s going to base it on Warhol’s Marilyns.
9:09: AHHHH JAZZ-MINH HAS ONE OF THOSE SCARY INSIDE LIP TATTOOS. HERS SAYS “BITE ME”. SHE SUCKS SO MUCH. Her sister’s evidently says “epic as fuck” and so she got her stupid inner lip tattoo as a show of solidarity. I hate Jazz-Minh so much y’all.
9:10: Michelle, who says her art isn’t really pop at all, is painting a bunch of Coca-Cola cans. She asks “is this too derivative” and everyone, including me, is all “YES THIS IS DERIVATIVE.” Girl. Commercial break y’all!
OH MY GOD GUYS I JUST HIT UPDATE AND IT DIDN’T SAVE, SO I LOST EVERYTHING BETWEEN COMMERCIAL BREAKS. I WILL TRY TO RECAP DURING THE NEXTBECAUSE I LOVE YOU ALL. I am mad at my blog now though, however. Ungh.
Okay so this is what happened that I lost: Simon arrives with another man in a suit, who is Jess Cagle, Editor of Entertainment Weekly (hire me!). They have good news and bad news. The good news: The winner of this challenge will get a two-page spread in Entertainment Weekly, which is great. The bad news: This challenge will result in a double elimination. Everyone wilts a bit. And then they all start working more and harder and better and whatnot. I believe Lola is doing a piece on communication, Young Sun is doing a piece on Proposition 8, Kymia edits photographs of her boobs and Sucklord finds this incredibly distracting but he also manages to talk about Sarah K.’s amazing rack (which wow guys it is) and it is sort of funny. Bayete’s doing a piece on identity and being of mixed-ethnicity. I think I got everyone? Well if I didn’t I’ll get them later. Anyways, Simon comes in and he says that Kymia’s piece isn’t 100% clear but that he likes the style of it, and he says that Dusty’s piece is all wrong. Dusty doesn’t have time to change his idea, so his day has just gotten a lot worse. I think I covered all of it? I hope so, anyways, back to the actual liveblog.
9:28: Sorry about that guys, that was super lame, anyways. Sucklord talks about doing the Winning Collection, based on Charlie Sheen’s melt down. He says the ladies of the Work of Art challenge art part of his piece, they are the goddesses. Simon congratulates Sucklord on being on the right path.
9:29: Simon is astonished by Jazz-Minh’s disgusting inner lip tattoo but he finds her paintings totally boring. He much prefers Jazz-Minh’s photographs of herself.
9:30: Leon is talking about his American flag piece now. With lots of glass! Simon thinks that the American flag is tired.
9:31: Simon also thinks that Michelle’s Coca-Cola piece is also boring and derivative. It is far too reminiscent of Andy’s Coca-Cola pieces and no, Michelle, it doesn’t matter that it is a Coke Zero bottle.
9:32: Artist working montage! Tewz talks about how he was arrested for doing grafitti, and how he was in maximum security, and how art saved his life. His Fad-Ex sign, by the way, is looking silly. Kymia decides to take more photos of herself because she doesn’t want her water bottle to look like an alcoholic beverage.
9:33: Sucklord, in the meantime, has an accident and spills paint all over Jazz-Minh’s photographs. Jazz-Minh, luckily, likes the finished product. She’s going to “sleep on the white paint splotch.” Well, we’ll see what happens. Everyone heads back to the loft and jokes about, um, masturbation and the competition and more masturbation. Yep.
9:34: Young Sun reminiscence about coming out to his parents; thank goodness his mother accepts him now (I believe his father is deceased?), she has dinner with him and his boyfriend regularly, that’s lovely. His boyfriend looks like a lumberjack in other news. Aaaand back to the studio. Jazz-Minh goes on and on about how lovely Sucklord’s paint splatter is (I keep having thoughts of semen, which is silly, but maybe it isn’t) but everyone else thinks she is crazy.
9:35: Young-Sun’s piece is very striking, I like that you can write on the back of it. Also, it is pink. Bayete isn’t happy with his piece, and Sucklord doesn’t feel that Leon’s piece is worthy. And then, oh snap, five minutes left! Rapid production montage! Off to the gallery show, and now I need to recap everything that I lost, ick. Okay, bear with me y’all.
9:40: Okay I’m back! The inner-commercial clip is Sucklord talking about how he never used to have luck with women but now he’s a super-villain so he’s totally having luck with women and he has a girlfriend and has had crazy sex adventures. Oh, Sucklord.
9:43: We are re-introduced to our judges, Jerry and Billy and guest judge, acclaimed pop artist Rob Pruitt, who made the Andy Warhol statue in Union Square. I knew they’d get that in somehow.
9:44: Leon’s piece is called “In My Mind.” Jazz-Minh’s piece is called “Bite Me.” As usual we cannot entirely tell how the judges feel, which is fine. Bayete does not like his piece at all. It is called “Pause:
Hade Hape and Persian” I think? Sarah K.’s piece is called “B-Fore.” Her’s is the foreclosure piece. Sucklord’s piece is “The Winning Collection” and it looks pretty funny. Rob Pruitt loves it.
9:45: Michelle’s piece is pretty derivative. Tewz’s piece, “Fad to Black,” is clever but it just doesn’t look good. Oh my goodness Lola’s title is forever long and I’ll never finish it, China responds to it with “wow.” Young Sun’s piece is “A New Proposition.” Kymia’s piece is “Greener Everyday” and I think it looks pretty great. Sara J.’s “Essay on OKCupid.Com” is great and colorful.
9:46: Dusty’s piece…I don’t know. I mean I wish they spent a little bit more time on each of the pieces, but this is a complaint I make every week, so, you know, ignore me. Jess Cagle is still here, btw, but he isn’t a part of the judging at all, which I find odd because it is his magazine. Anyways, he enjoyed the show, but he’s leaving now.
9:47: China in a rainbow dress calls the following artists to stay: Leon, Jazz-Minh, Young Sun, Dusty, Michelle, and Kymia. Everyone else is safe, but they also did not win the prize. And China, who is MEAN, tells Bayete that he’s lucky he has immunity this week. HARSH, BITCH.
9:48: Young Sun’s piece is one of the best. Jerry loves its presence and its intensity, China loves that it is interactive, Robb Pruitt thinks it is very striking and that it freshens pop by making it political. Yay!
9:49: Kymia is also in the top, yay Kymia! Bill calls it product displacement. Jerry thinks that it is fantastic, he calls it an advertisement for advertising. Kymia is super pleased, because she has never worked with photography. So Kymia and Young are super happy, but only one can win. And Young ends up winning, which is really fantastic. He’s perfect for Entertainment Weekly, yay Young, good for you! And I mean, of course they chose Young’s they can’t do boobies in Entertainment Weekly. Sorry Kymia–maybe you should have thought of that beforehand?
9:50: And now, the failures. Leon is first. Rob Pruitt feels that the piece is devoid of Leon’s personal story. Bill is surprised that Leon did not put his deafness into it. Jerry doesn’t say much. Rob says that the piece isn’t a bad story to tell, it is just bad storytelling.
9:51: Dusty is next. His piece is a really, really boring, fast food, trash can receptacle. He explains the piece well but it doesn’t show as well as he explained it. Jerry calls the piece more minimalist, which, yes. Oh, Dusty, a good idea does not necessarily equal a good work of art.
9:52: And onto Jazz-Minh, lord get rid of her. Rob says the piece is a failure and that the viewer can’t understand it. People also do not understand the white paint at all which, duh. I just think Jazz-Minh is lazy.
9:53: And, onto Michelle. Oh girl, I like you, please don’t go away. She looks pretty unhappy. Jerry feels that the work is just a bunch of pop cliches layered under a realist painting. Bill is pretty disappointed in Michelle, because she’s done so well the past few weeks. Me too! Michelle is awesome! Silly girl, falling into cliches.
9:54: And everybody goes up to the studio, to wait, and to bitch at each other. The judges sit around to discuss the failures. “Good pop art takes our collective experience and filters it through a personal lens.” Thanks for that quote, Rob Pruitt! Jerry finds Jazz-Minh’s piece superficial, and not in a good pop way, Rob Pruitt finds Dusty’s piece forgettable, Rob Pruitt also felt that Michelle’s subject matter fell apart and Bill Powers says Michelle’s work is too derivative, Jerry calls Leon’s work uninteresting and China says the work isn’t contemporary. I’m guessing that Jazz-Minh and Dusty will be going home, but that’s just me. We’ll find out soon!
9:56: Elimination time bitches! “The only rule in art is what works, and none of your pieces did.” Thanks China. Leon’s piece, too familiar. Michelle’s piece, too cliche. Dusty’s piece, too throw-away. Jazz-Minh, no pop or empowerment. I love these little one-sentence summaries of failure that the judges hand to the contestants, it is so for-television. Michelle, of course, is safe. Good girl, you can do better! Jazz-Minh is eliminated, which, yay! I didn’t like her at all, she just seemed so forced to me. She is sad, and disappointed, and she’s also a hippie so, go home girl.
9:58: And oh, wow, Leon’s going home, and Dusty is safe! I didn’t expect that at all. Leon is confused as to why he is going home, because he feels his work related to pop art, but it was a bit cliche. I didn’t feel particularly strongly about any of the final four (except for Jazz-Minh, who was terrible) so I’m okay with this.
9:59: Next week! Children! Sarah Jessica Parker! More tears! As always, it should be wonderful. I hope to see you there!