Day: November 9, 2011

Work of Art Liveblog, Episode 5: Ripped from the Headlines

Once again it is Wednesday, and once again it is time for another amazing Work of Art episode and a hopefully amazing Work of Art liveblog.  Just a refresher: last week we our contestants had been reduced to ten, and the contestants had their fourth challenge.   This challenge required the contestants to team up with kids and to make works of art inspired by works by their kid-partners.  Sarah Jessica Parker was the judge.  We discovered much about our contestants: Sucklord has a soft spot for kids, Sara J. had a post traumatic stress disorder experience, and Dusty and Kymia proved to be awesome.  Kymia won with her lovely, grotesque drawing, and Tewz’s weird, conceptual growth piece got him eliminated.    Michelle also did a piece with EYES y’all, EYES.  Jerry Saltz thinks she is going to win.  Anyways, you can read my thoughts on last week’s episode here.

Bye Tewz, your name was also stupid.

This week the artists will be headng to the New York Times headquarters  to search for inspiration-providing headlines.  This will be fun!

9:00:  Everyone’s in a huddle, waiting to see who comes back.  Kymia and Dusty and Sara J. wander back in, and Sucklord’s trailing behind makes everyone freak out but oh, Sucklord is there!  And Sucklord also declares that he is tough like a cockroach.  Yep, that sounds about right.

9:01:  Kymia is thrilled that she won and that Simon is auctioning off her piece.  Lola, for some reason, really has it out for Kymia?  I mean, why?  Lola, you’re terrible, you aren’t on her level at all.  Anyways, title sequence time, complete with China’s terrible holy underboob-showing dress lord who let her wear that disaster?

9:02:  5:30am and Simon barges in all “WAKE UP YOU SLEEPY HEADS TIME TO BE INVIGORATED CHALLENGES.”  Young Sun gets all uppity about it because his gay gene makes him feel sad that Simon looks better than he does at 5:30 in the morning.

9:03:  Simon piles them all into a van.  To make matters worse it is RAINING at 5:30 in the morning, terrible.  They’re driving through New York and Dusty is freaked out because he doesn’t know New York at all because, in case you forgot, he’s from Arkansas!  Anyways, their destination is the building where The New York Times gets printed and it looks like a magical awesome place.

9:04:  No really it is magical.  There are self-propeling robots and crazy like, roller coasters conveying papers, and it is awesome.  And oh also China is there, in front of a pile of newspapers, and she is wearing a red dress that doesn’t have a hole in it and it is a lot better than the travesty they have her in for the title sequence.  China provides the challenge (find a headline that inspires your work of art!) and also tells a nervous Sucklord to “Use the Force!”  Sigh.

9:05:  Kymia reveals that she is one of those annoying people who doesn’t read the paper or keep abreast of current events at all.  That’s just lazy guys.  A few more things:  the artists have to use the newspaper in their work, the winner gets $20,000 (Dusty really wants it because he is from ARKANSAS and also he is poor, he tells us), and the winner also gets his or her work exhibited in the NYTimes building near Times Square.  Oh but after this challenge there is no immunity ever again ever.

9:06:  Anyways, now we get a ten minute montage of people tearing through the pile of newspapers looking for their headlines.  People choose articles on serial killers, the B.P. oil spill, and Ai WeiWei’s imprisonment (that’s Young Sun of course).

9:07:  Times up!  Off to Utrecht, with Simon in the lead!  For some reason the artists are wheeling out barrels of newspaper but, whatever.  At Utrecht Lola, as usual, is all “I do not have a clear idea of what i am going to make.”  Lola, you never know what you are going to make.  Your “suffering artist” persona, as Sara J. calls it, is totally old.  And stupid.  I hope you get eliminated, even if you do look like Eliza Dushku.

9:08:  And off to the studio they go!  Sarah K. is doing an article on Alexander Styron, about depression and madness.  Bayete has chosen an article that reviews the musical Sister Act which is AWESOME, he’s going to be some piece about religion and how he doesn’t like it which is only mildly cliche.   Dusty’s article is on the failing economy (because he is from Arkansas and according to him people in Arkansas are poor).

9:09:  Young Sun’s Ai WeiWei article is about censorship, so he’s trying to bleach the ink from his paper but he’s only succeeding in ruining the paper.  He’s afraid he’s going home.  And last week’s photograph of Young Sun hopping about like a big gaysian bird takes us into the commercial break.