Category: Bravo’s Work of Art

Work of Art, Episode 10: The Big Show

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Guysssssss we’ve reached the end!  Our group of fourteen has been whittled to three: Sara J. Young Sun, and Kymia (who I want to win).  Last week the final five were sent to a picturesque little town in the Hudson River Valley and they had to select a townsperson and do a portrait.  Kymia won with her whimsical portrait of an antique-shop owning couple, and Young Sun came in second with his meta-portrait of an artist.  Lola, Dusty, and Sara J. were in the bottom.  Sara J. squeaked by with her portrait of an older firefighter, while Lola was eliminated for her portrait that wasn’t really a portrait at all and Dusty was sent home because of his candy-constructed and candy-colored portrait of a little girl.  That was falling apart.  Anyways, I totally agree with the final three (although I wish Michelle had stuck around, sigh) and I am super thrilled that Lola is out, I couldn’t stand her.  As you probably realized.

Well, at least he'll get to go home and see his daughter.
RIP GDB.

This week: FINALE.  The final three have three months to make art exhibits and then they will BATTLE IT OUT in the ARENA OF ART and guyssss I am so excited!  I hope you are too!

9:00:  YAY!  FINALE!  China says the artists have $75,000 and three months to make a giant exhibit to wow the judges.  Each artist gets a little bio, starting with Young Sun.  We see a montage of him on the show, and all the money he won, and his tendency toward politics.  Bill Powers tells Young to leave the P.C. stuff behind when he returns.

9:01:  Sara J. is next.  She started strong, and then she had a breakdown in the childhood piece, and then she did better again!  Yay!  Jerry tells her not to be afraid of anything.

9:02:  Kymia is nervous and anxious and emotional and I really hope she wins!  Yay!  The three artists pack up and leave the loft.  They wish each other luck and say farewell–well, sort of, Young gets in a cab to go to the airport but Sara J. and Kymia live in NYC so, you know, they aren’t going anywhere.  And CHINA’S STUPID DRESS FOR THE LAST TIME Y’ALL.

9:03:  Two months pass.  Simon drives a Fiat (duh) through Chicago to visit Young Sun.  Simon sees Young’s apartment and meet’s his mother and boyfriend, Mark, who is a stock analyst.  Mark says that Young is his “long term investment,” ha.

9:04:  Aw, Young’s mom has been battling cancer and her husband passed away recently, and she’s been sad, but she is happy now because Young is doing so well!  And now we’re at show and tell!  Young Sun brings out his childhood art to show Simon.  Adorable.  Young and Simon then head off to Young’s studio to see his work.

9:05:  Young has found himself a beautiful studio–and thank the lord it is summer in Chicago.  Young has been doing photos with this structural piece, moving the piece around and taking pictures of it in various locations.  Simon calls it dry and boring and man, I totally agree!  Wow.  also, Young’s growing this totally ironic mullet, wow.  Maybe it isn’t ironic?

9:06:  in the meantime, Simon is drawn to some shirts hanging on the wall.  They belong to Young’s late father and he has set up sort of an unintentional shrine to his father and it is WAY BETTER than the weird moving structure photo project.  Simon suggests that Young should us that emotionalism and connection in his exhibit.

9:07:  Young states that he thinks the judges are expecting something really fantastic from him (duh) and he doesn’t want to disappoint them.  Simon returns to Manhattan to visit Kymia.  We meet Kymia’s boyfriend, Devin; they met at a Turkish restaurant.  They live in a nice apartment…but it is Devin’s parents’ apartment so, that makes me feel a little better, ha.

9:08:  Kymia is of course freaking out but her boyfriend is trying to make her feel better.  Good man.  Kymia shows some family photos; her mother was gorgeous wowzers.  She shows some pictures of a lake where her family used to jet ski; her father died in a jet skiing accident on said lake, and Kymia was there, that’s a bummer.  Kymia and Simon head out to her studio to see her work.

9:09:  Kymia has a cute little studio and she is doing some multi-media 2-d drawing-lookign pieces with afterlives and ghosts.  She also has some creepy 3-D ghost figures that i find sort of lovely and eerie and whimsical and man I love Kymia so much.  Kymia plans to have fifteen works in the show and has finished seven.

9:10:  Simon likes some of her works but hates her sculptures.  He even calls one of them, this girl with diamond eyes, horrendous.  WOW.  That’s harsh.  Kymia of course freaks out and starts crying.  The editors are really loving the tears this season, aren’t they.

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Work of Art, Episode 9: Exile on Main Street

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Once again it is Wednesday, and once again it is time for another amazing Work of Art episode and a hopefully amazing Work of Art liveblog.  Just a refresher: last week we only had six (!!!) contestants, and the contestants were given what I found to be one of the most interesting challenges yet.  Each contestant had to create a work of art that both sold on the street and translated into a gallery setting.  The artists were paired up, and whichever team made the most money on the street was saved from elimination–oh, and they also won $30,000 what?!  In terms of picking the winner the money was all that mattered, which is an interesting commentary on the art world.  Young Sun and Sara J. won, mostly because of Sara J.’s quick watercolor portraits which sold for $10.00 a pop.   The judges  used the gallery work to determine the losers.     Dusty and Kymia were one group, with Kymia doing well and Dusty doing not so well.  Sarah K. and Lola rounded out the other group, complete with all the nudity and penises you tend to associate with Lola.  Lola actually made a good piece (I know, it kills me to say it) and Sarah K., alas, did not.  Sarah K. ended up going home.  Farewell, Sarah K., we will miss your boisterous laugh and your large bosom!

I like your dress, Sarah.

This week, the artists leave NYC and are forced to consort with the hoi poloi in a small, quaint little town in the Hudson River Valley!  They also have to create a work that presents an “undated vision of America” whatever that means.  AWKWARD.  DISASTER.  I can’t wait.

Guysssss I’m late!  My office potluck is tomorrow and when I hear the words “potluck” I immediately think “Oh, I need to make enough food to feed EVERYONE” rather than just bringing my one dish and call it a day.  So I just spent the whole evening making a savory main and a desert, both of which will be entered into cooking contests, and I finally just put my desert in the oven to bake and I haven’t showered or unpacked my gym bag or ANYTHING and I got really sweaty at the gym today and I should really shower and finish cleaning up the kitchen so that I can recap for y’all in my best and brightest form.  So, like, I’m gonna go shower now.  So if y’all could wait a few minutes, that’d be great.  I’ll be right back!

Okay!  I’m back!  I also repacked my gym bag (for tomorrow) and took my baked goods out of the oven so, you know, productive.  I’ll be nixing the time stamps because it isn’t really a live blog anymore.  Just a sort of live blog?  FYI I am officially starting at 9:32, and will be skipping the commercials so, you know, do the math etc.

Onward!

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Work of Art, Episode 8: Sell Out

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Once again it is Wednesday, and once again it is time for another amazing Work of Art episode and a hopefully amazing Work of Art liveblog.  Just a refresher: last week we only had seven contestants, and it was our official product placement/sponsor challenge!   Each contestant had to make a work of art using pieces from the Fiat 500.  Sara J. won, and she won $25,000, which she will use for graduate school, good for her!  Stunningly Kymia, Michelle, and Lola (okay not stunningly for Lola, HATE HER) ended up in the bottom three, and MICHELLE went home, which was shocking.  I 100% thought they would get rid of Lola, who is terrible, and I fully expected Michelle to make it to the top three because she is hella talented.  Oh well, that’s reality television for you.

Micheeellllleeee whyyyy, you were so talented!

Bravo was thoughtful enough to provide a slide show of some of Michelle’s work from before she was on the show–she really is incredibly talented, I wish her tons of luck.  Also, stay away from people like Lola girl!

This week: PUBLIC ART, but that people can buy, but that is also gallery appropriate?!  SUCKLORD, it seems that you have missed out on your most-appropriate challenge.  Alas, alack.  Let us get to it!

8:58:  I always catch the tail-end of Top Chef: Don’t Mess with Texas Bitches and I never have any idea what is going on, really.  John Besh looks like he was on tonight, though.  I guess Texas doesn’t have enough celebrity chefs so they have to get one from New Orleans to play guest judge?  Padma Lakshmi is so hot also and I know that’s like the oldest news ever.  Okay, ART NOW PLEASE.

9:00:  THE CITY IN BLACK AND WHITE, with random colors, and our ladies return.  Sarah K.’s boobs look amazing, wow, big-breasted girls ftw!  She’s my sistah.  Everyone hugs Sara J., who says she is on unemployment now, and $25,000 is great!  Young Sun is all “I thought Michelle would be here forever” and Lola is all “wah Michelle is my friend.”

9:01:  LOLA I WANT YOU TO GO HOME.  She’s in the confessional now, talking a lot about herself, lord I loathe her.  Blah blah, introduction, blah blah prizes, blah blah CHINA’S STUPID RED DRESS WHY.  Ungh.

9:02:  Hahaha, Young Sun is blow-drying his hair in a pinky-purple bathroom.  I love him.  Kymia, drinking a purple smoothie, talks about how she doesn’t want to make anymore shitty art.  And then we see Young Sun and Dusty eating bananas.  Heh.  The artists leave their loft and walk to Tribec, it looks like such a beautiful NYC day.  I want to go to there.

9:03:  The artists find China and Young Sun in front of tables, with cash boxes.  The artists will display their work on said tables, and they will try to sell their art on the street–and also display said work in the gallery.  Dilemma artists!  Sarah K. is pretty overwhelmed.  But she won’t be alone!  The challenge is a team challenge, and you get to pick your partners.

9:04:  Sara J. won last week, so she gets to pick her partner.  She picks Young.  Kymia picks Dusty, because Lola is evil, and Lola gets paired with my boobtastic friend Sarah K.  I need to note, here, that China’s outfit is so fluorescent, I can’t handle it.  Anyways, the artists will have 5 hours to plan and create, two hours to sell, and it has to be physical art.  The winning team gets $30,000 and cannot be eliminated, amazing!

9:05:  The groups split to plan.  Sara J. can do rapid watercolors and has created street art before.  Young Sun is thinking t-shirts.  Kymia doesn’t like the idea of selling out, and wants to make “donation” post cards for “supporting” artists.  Dusty, who has t-shirt company called Dirt Shirts, wants to make shirts.

9:06:  Sarah K. wants to make crafty feathery headdresses and also t-shirts!  She’s talking a lot and really really rapidly and Lola is confused.  And then Lola is all: “So I’ll take a picture of myself naked and write some stuff on it because people like sex and naked pictures!”  Lola says “I don’t really want to get naked but i will do anything.”  Girlfriend has no soul at all, I hate her.

9:07:  Everyone runs to American Apparel to get some shirts and get some underwear and stuff.  The artists can shop anywhere, and yet everyone runs to American Apparel to get some damn t-shirts.

9:08:  Young Sun and Sara J. decide to get some tiny shorts.  Young Sun says his boyfriend loves his round and petite and shapely butt and that his butt will sell t-shirts.  Okay! They also arrive at the studio first and raid the supplies.  I think the other artists have gone to Utrecht or some other stores?

9:09:  Oh, right, Dusty and Kymia are at Utrecht.  Sara J. and Young Sun are going nuts in the gallery and are creating REALLY rapidly good for them.  Young Sun, of course, is painting men’s briefs to sell.  I love him.  Sarah J. and Lola finally arrive at the studio and are annoyed that Sara J. and Young Sun have already pilged the supplies.

9:10:  Kymia and Dusty are in the van still and are freaking out because they only have two hours to create art and return to the park to sell their work.  Actually, I take that back–Kymia is freaking out, Dusty is just looking exasperated.  Aaaand commercial!

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First Day of Work Tomorrow!

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Hi guys, so I start work tomorrow, that’s exciting right?

It is DECEMBER now, which is crazy!  Do you like my new December-Jewish Holiday-Appropriate background?  Here’s the full image:

That’s exciting right?  I didn’t make it, alas, and I didn’t make this one either, but it is also awesome:

Yaaaay.  I get endless amounts of glee from the fact that Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner are nice Jewish boys.  My people, y’all!

I’ve been a bit dead on my blog,  for no good reason.  Now that I am not spending my evenings job hunting I should endeavor to, you know, post some more.  In the meantime this is what I have been doing these past two weeks, in between jobs:

-I cleaned out my closet.  And my dresser.  And my shoes, purses, and jewelry box.  I took five bag-fulls of stuff to Goodwill, y’all.  That was fun.

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Work of Art, Episode 7: La Dolce Arte

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Once again it is Wednesday, and once again it is time for another amazing Work of Art episode and a hopefully amazing Work of Art liveblog.  Just a refresher: TWO WEEKS AGO (Oh, Thanksgiving, wreaking havoc with my television schedule) we only had eight contestants, and we had a team-based challenge!   Each contestant was randomly paired with another and they were tasked to create a piece of street art.  Kymia and Sara J. and Young Sun and Dusty made fantastic, cohesive pieces of art.  Young Sun and Dusty won, and they also won $15,000 each!  Sucklord and Sarah K. and Michelle and Lola (who I hate), made less-good artwork, and unfortunately our dear the Sucklord was sent home.  This is a shame–he should have rocked the street art, but I think he was full of fear, which leads to anger, which leads to hatred, which leads to the Dark Side, etc.  We will miss you a lot, Sucklord, you brought quite a bit of personality and entertainment to this competition.  Also, nerd pride.

You shall not pass.

This week we come to our official product placement challenge (remember last season’s car-inspired challenge?  Ungh).   Our remaining artists must utilize a component from a Fiat 500 and turn it into art!  I am really bored by this challenge already, y’all.

9:00: ART ART ART.  The Sucklord, alas, is gone.  Everyone is sad, because the fun and slightly sexually offensive Sucklord is gone.  Who will have sex with all the girls?  Who will be loud and obnoxious.

9:01:  Lola still sees “potential romance” for her and Sucklord whaaaat?  Girl, he has a girlfriend, and you are terrible.  Oh, also, Dusty now has to wear Young Sun’s short shorts because they won the challenge.  This is awesome because Young Sun is a tiny Gaysian and Dusty is from Arkansas.  He takes the whole thing well, and puts on the shorts, because he is a man of his word.  That was fun, and probably the high point of the episode y’all.

9:02:  INTRO.  CHINA’S DRESS STILL HAS A HOLE IN IT.  THIS BOTHERS ME SO MUCH GUYS.

9:03:  Kymia voice-overs about what a bitch Lola is, which is totally true.  Lola is terrible guys.  In the meantime, everyone heads off to the challenge.  We head to the gallery and there is lots of Fiat stuff laid out everywhere.  Sarah K. calls it beautiful.  I’m not really a car person, so I am not that interested by this.  Evidently Sarah K.’s father owns an auto shop.  wel there you go.

9:04:  Some Italian words about Italian cars, and some French-accented words from Simon Pury about artists, like Richard Prince and John Chamberlain, who have used cars as an inspiration for art.  The artists’ challenge is to create a work of art using at least one part from the Fiat 500.  The artist with the best piece gets $25,000.  Damn, kids, they are throwing the money around in this competition.

9:05:  Running around collecting parts montage!!!  No one knows what they are making, so everyone is confused!

9:06:  Wow, they’ve cleaned out the place.  The artists roll their car parts up to the studio.  Hurr.  Many of the artists don’t know anything about cars.  This should be fun!  Michelle is super excited about it–i hope that she recovers her happiness and light and talent from the mess Lola made of it last week.

9:07:  Hahahaha, Sara J. doesn’t know how to drive.  Oi.  Lola once again is all: “I have so many ideas.  I don’t know what I am doing!  La la la la la.”  However, I sort of like her idea of fossilizing the objects.

9:08:  Kymia actually got the key to the car, hilarious.  She’s going to grind down the key and make it look like stardust–key to the car, key to the universe, etc.   Dusty is now going to put the lotion on his skin (or else he gets the hose again).  No, he’s doing lotion to make a mold of his face.

9:09:  Wow, Dusty….isn’t taking that many precautions with his facial mold.  Jesus this is scary.  Kymia helps him, thankfully.  Also he has a BEARD, wow that is going to HURT when it comes off y’all.  I’m mildly terrified, but we’re going to have to wait through the commercials to see what happens.

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