Tag: Bravo

Work of Art, Episode 8: Sell Out

Once again it is Wednesday, and once again it is time for another amazing Work of Art episode and a hopefully amazing Work of Art liveblog.  Just a refresher: last week we only had seven contestants, and it was our official product placement/sponsor challenge!   Each contestant had to make a work of art using pieces from the Fiat 500.  Sara J. won, and she won $25,000, which she will use for graduate school, good for her!  Stunningly Kymia, Michelle, and Lola (okay not stunningly for Lola, HATE HER) ended up in the bottom three, and MICHELLE went home, which was shocking.  I 100% thought they would get rid of Lola, who is terrible, and I fully expected Michelle to make it to the top three because she is hella talented.  Oh well, that’s reality television for you.

Micheeellllleeee whyyyy, you were so talented!

Bravo was thoughtful enough to provide a slide show of some of Michelle’s work from before she was on the show–she really is incredibly talented, I wish her tons of luck.  Also, stay away from people like Lola girl!

This week: PUBLIC ART, but that people can buy, but that is also gallery appropriate?!  SUCKLORD, it seems that you have missed out on your most-appropriate challenge.  Alas, alack.  Let us get to it!

8:58:  I always catch the tail-end of Top Chef: Don’t Mess with Texas Bitches and I never have any idea what is going on, really.  John Besh looks like he was on tonight, though.  I guess Texas doesn’t have enough celebrity chefs so they have to get one from New Orleans to play guest judge?  Padma Lakshmi is so hot also and I know that’s like the oldest news ever.  Okay, ART NOW PLEASE.

9:00:  THE CITY IN BLACK AND WHITE, with random colors, and our ladies return.  Sarah K.’s boobs look amazing, wow, big-breasted girls ftw!  She’s my sistah.  Everyone hugs Sara J., who says she is on unemployment now, and $25,000 is great!  Young Sun is all “I thought Michelle would be here forever” and Lola is all “wah Michelle is my friend.”

9:01:  LOLA I WANT YOU TO GO HOME.  She’s in the confessional now, talking a lot about herself, lord I loathe her.  Blah blah, introduction, blah blah prizes, blah blah CHINA’S STUPID RED DRESS WHY.  Ungh.

9:02:  Hahaha, Young Sun is blow-drying his hair in a pinky-purple bathroom.  I love him.  Kymia, drinking a purple smoothie, talks about how she doesn’t want to make anymore shitty art.  And then we see Young Sun and Dusty eating bananas.  Heh.  The artists leave their loft and walk to Tribec, it looks like such a beautiful NYC day.  I want to go to there.

9:03:  The artists find China and Young Sun in front of tables, with cash boxes.  The artists will display their work on said tables, and they will try to sell their art on the street–and also display said work in the gallery.  Dilemma artists!  Sarah K. is pretty overwhelmed.  But she won’t be alone!  The challenge is a team challenge, and you get to pick your partners.

9:04:  Sara J. won last week, so she gets to pick her partner.  She picks Young.  Kymia picks Dusty, because Lola is evil, and Lola gets paired with my boobtastic friend Sarah K.  I need to note, here, that China’s outfit is so fluorescent, I can’t handle it.  Anyways, the artists will have 5 hours to plan and create, two hours to sell, and it has to be physical art.  The winning team gets $30,000 and cannot be eliminated, amazing!

9:05:  The groups split to plan.  Sara J. can do rapid watercolors and has created street art before.  Young Sun is thinking t-shirts.  Kymia doesn’t like the idea of selling out, and wants to make “donation” post cards for “supporting” artists.  Dusty, who has t-shirt company called Dirt Shirts, wants to make shirts.

9:06:  Sarah K. wants to make crafty feathery headdresses and also t-shirts!  She’s talking a lot and really really rapidly and Lola is confused.  And then Lola is all: “So I’ll take a picture of myself naked and write some stuff on it because people like sex and naked pictures!”  Lola says “I don’t really want to get naked but i will do anything.”  Girlfriend has no soul at all, I hate her.

9:07:  Everyone runs to American Apparel to get some shirts and get some underwear and stuff.  The artists can shop anywhere, and yet everyone runs to American Apparel to get some damn t-shirts.

9:08:  Young Sun and Sara J. decide to get some tiny shorts.  Young Sun says his boyfriend loves his round and petite and shapely butt and that his butt will sell t-shirts.  Okay! They also arrive at the studio first and raid the supplies.  I think the other artists have gone to Utrecht or some other stores?

9:09:  Oh, right, Dusty and Kymia are at Utrecht.  Sara J. and Young Sun are going nuts in the gallery and are creating REALLY rapidly good for them.  Young Sun, of course, is painting men’s briefs to sell.  I love him.  Sarah J. and Lola finally arrive at the studio and are annoyed that Sara J. and Young Sun have already pilged the supplies.

9:10:  Kymia and Dusty are in the van still and are freaking out because they only have two hours to create art and return to the park to sell their work.  Actually, I take that back–Kymia is freaking out, Dusty is just looking exasperated.  Aaaand commercial!

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Work of Art Liveblog, Episode 1: Kitsch Me If You Can

Guys!  Work of Art: The Next Great Artist is back on Bravo and, like last season, I’ll be liveblogging it!  I’ve looked over all the bios on the website and these are my  initial superficial judgments observations:

Leon, 31:  His most notable trait will be that he is a deaf artist originally from Malaysia.

Dusty, 32:  He will spend the entirety of his time on television talking about his daughter and how he misses his family.

Kathryn, 29:  She went to Yale for her MFA and she is into those awesome wax figures people used to teach anatomy back in the day in Europe.  She is also trying really hard to be Lisa Loeb.  She will probably be pretentious.

Lola, 24: She’s a snake charmer!  A snake charmer named Lola!

Sarah, 34: One of two Sara/hs, this one is from Cleveland, and I know someone who knows someone who knows her.  I like her dress.

Jazz-Minh, 32:  I don’t have anything to say about her except that her name is absolutely stupid and that I hope she pronounces it stupidly.

Kymia, 30:  I feel like I should know her because she was at the University of Florida getting her MFA while I was there studying Art History.  It is a small department, why don’t I recognize her!  Anyways, Go Gators.

Tewz, 31:  I couldn’t even read his bio because he also has a stupid name.  What is with these people.

The Sucklord, 42: Okay so, I like that he has a geek aesthetic, and nerd interests, that is really cool, but the name, really?!  And his bio picture is just dumb.  Whatever, here’s praying that he’s entertaining.

Ugo, 34:  Was your name Hugo and did you take the H off?  Whyyyyy.

Sarah, 26: She will always be confused with Sarah with an “H.”

Bayete, 34:  I know someone who knows him!

Michelle, 29:  Ginger.

Young Sun, 28:  His pink pants are really fierce.

I know, none of that had anything to do with art, nor was it particularly insightful, but I like to think I have good character judgment.

Image from http://www.bravotv.com/work-of-art

Of course we have some folks back from last season too, including judges Bill Powers, China Chow and her gravity-defying wardrobe, and my most favorite the amazing Jerry SaltzSimon de Pury and his charm will be filling in the Tim Gunn role as mentor.

So according to the Bravo website during this first episode, Kitsch Me If You Can, the artists will “use pieces of ‘bad’ art, such as a painting of dogs playing checkers, a velvet cowboy, and a sculptural golden peacock as their canvas.”  Sigh, this will be amazing.  Join me back here at 9:00 to witness the carnage!

9:00 And we’re off!  World Famous Brooklyn Museum!  Cover story in Blue Magazine!  $100,000 from Fiat!  Prizes!  China your dress has a hole in it!  Jerry Saltz is looking for an artist who can fail flamboyantly (I wanted to write flail flamboyantly!)  and, oh, I hope we see some flamboyant failures!

9:02:  Kymia and The Sucklord are the first to arrive at the Brooklyn Museum.  Kymia is from Durham!  Durham and the University of Florida, you go girl. The Sucklord compares himself to Andy Warhol, in that Andy had soup cans and he had stormtroopers.  I respect that.

9:03: Dusty is next, he has a neat work with crayons, and he is from Arkansas and you can tell.  Ugo arrives fourth, and The Sucklord hates his work.  I guess all the artists have self portaits up at the Brooklyn Museum as little introductions?

9:04: Young Sun is fifth to arrive and his self portrait is him naked, with his terminally ill parents in the background.  This is his final family portrait.  Good lord.   Jazz-Minh was born on a hippy commune.  No really?!  Lola arrives seventh.  Lola finds The Sucklord attractive.  I mean, I’m down with the nerd factor, but absolutely not.

9:05:  Lisa Loeb/Kathryn is next!  She likes visceral tableaus.  She’ll use the word visceral and tableau a lot. Leon and Tewz arrive together, Leon has an interpreter with him, which is positive!  I was wondering how they would handle Leon being deaf.

9:06:  Tewz has been arrested for doing graffiti in Chicago!  He’s the Banksy of the bunch.  And he has a stupid name.  Michelle, who isn’t really a ginger, has arrived at some point and she made a gorgeous sculptural portrait of her head, constructed out of paper.  Sarah with an H’s self portrait is lots of her head in a party banner.  She is perky, Lola doesn’t like perky.  Lola’s going to be a bitch.  Sara without an h has this water-color looking scorpion thing.  Bayete is a video artist, respect!

9:07:  China, in a purple gossamer bondage dress arrives with Simon de Pury.  I love how she pronounces his name.  BE BOLD.  BE BRAVE.  BE AMAZING.  He’s the best.

9:08:  Simon de Pury already knows The Sucklord!  He has bought and sold The Sucklord’s art!  Impressive, Sucklord.

9:09:  The reason we are at the Brooklyn Museum–besides everyone seeing each other’s self portraits–is so that the comtestants can see the actual hall where the winner’s art will be shown.  The space is full of work that looks straight from Regretsy.  The Sucklord informs one of the contestants that a picture of a wizard is, in fact, Gandalf.  He also knows Gandalf’s sword’s name (Glamdring).   The Sucklord really likes the art, because he is into pop culture and kitsch and doesn’t seem to take this stuff too seriously.  The other contestants, not so much.

9:10:  And this is their first challenge!  They need to pick one of the kitschy pieces from the gallery and use it in work of art!  And then they have not a ton of time to make it work!  The Sucklord of course picks the Gandalf painting.  Is it bad that I really like The Sucklord?

9:11:  Is it also bad that part of me thinks/hopes that most of these contestants will produce works that are inferior to these Regretsy, kitschy pieces?  Thus far I am thinking that Lola and Jazz-Minh (UNGH) are going to be the biggest Bs btw.

9:12:  AND OFF TO THE STUDIO.  Zoom in on a saxophone-playing bear, commercial break!

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