Tag: Lola

Work of Art, Episode 9: Exile on Main Street

Once again it is Wednesday, and once again it is time for another amazing Work of Art episode and a hopefully amazing Work of Art liveblog.  Just a refresher: last week we only had six (!!!) contestants, and the contestants were given what I found to be one of the most interesting challenges yet.  Each contestant had to create a work of art that both sold on the street and translated into a gallery setting.  The artists were paired up, and whichever team made the most money on the street was saved from elimination–oh, and they also won $30,000 what?!  In terms of picking the winner the money was all that mattered, which is an interesting commentary on the art world.  Young Sun and Sara J. won, mostly because of Sara J.’s quick watercolor portraits which sold for $10.00 a pop.   The judges  used the gallery work to determine the losers.     Dusty and Kymia were one group, with Kymia doing well and Dusty doing not so well.  Sarah K. and Lola rounded out the other group, complete with all the nudity and penises you tend to associate with Lola.  Lola actually made a good piece (I know, it kills me to say it) and Sarah K., alas, did not.  Sarah K. ended up going home.  Farewell, Sarah K., we will miss your boisterous laugh and your large bosom!

I like your dress, Sarah.

This week, the artists leave NYC and are forced to consort with the hoi poloi in a small, quaint little town in the Hudson River Valley!  They also have to create a work that presents an “undated vision of America” whatever that means.  AWKWARD.  DISASTER.  I can’t wait.

Guysssss I’m late!  My office potluck is tomorrow and when I hear the words “potluck” I immediately think “Oh, I need to make enough food to feed EVERYONE” rather than just bringing my one dish and call it a day.  So I just spent the whole evening making a savory main and a desert, both of which will be entered into cooking contests, and I finally just put my desert in the oven to bake and I haven’t showered or unpacked my gym bag or ANYTHING and I got really sweaty at the gym today and I should really shower and finish cleaning up the kitchen so that I can recap for y’all in my best and brightest form.  So, like, I’m gonna go shower now.  So if y’all could wait a few minutes, that’d be great.  I’ll be right back!

Okay!  I’m back!  I also repacked my gym bag (for tomorrow) and took my baked goods out of the oven so, you know, productive.  I’ll be nixing the time stamps because it isn’t really a live blog anymore.  Just a sort of live blog?  FYI I am officially starting at 9:32, and will be skipping the commercials so, you know, do the math etc.

Onward!

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Work of Art, Episode 8: Sell Out

Once again it is Wednesday, and once again it is time for another amazing Work of Art episode and a hopefully amazing Work of Art liveblog.  Just a refresher: last week we only had seven contestants, and it was our official product placement/sponsor challenge!   Each contestant had to make a work of art using pieces from the Fiat 500.  Sara J. won, and she won $25,000, which she will use for graduate school, good for her!  Stunningly Kymia, Michelle, and Lola (okay not stunningly for Lola, HATE HER) ended up in the bottom three, and MICHELLE went home, which was shocking.  I 100% thought they would get rid of Lola, who is terrible, and I fully expected Michelle to make it to the top three because she is hella talented.  Oh well, that’s reality television for you.

Micheeellllleeee whyyyy, you were so talented!

Bravo was thoughtful enough to provide a slide show of some of Michelle’s work from before she was on the show–she really is incredibly talented, I wish her tons of luck.  Also, stay away from people like Lola girl!

This week: PUBLIC ART, but that people can buy, but that is also gallery appropriate?!  SUCKLORD, it seems that you have missed out on your most-appropriate challenge.  Alas, alack.  Let us get to it!

8:58:  I always catch the tail-end of Top Chef: Don’t Mess with Texas Bitches and I never have any idea what is going on, really.  John Besh looks like he was on tonight, though.  I guess Texas doesn’t have enough celebrity chefs so they have to get one from New Orleans to play guest judge?  Padma Lakshmi is so hot also and I know that’s like the oldest news ever.  Okay, ART NOW PLEASE.

9:00:  THE CITY IN BLACK AND WHITE, with random colors, and our ladies return.  Sarah K.’s boobs look amazing, wow, big-breasted girls ftw!  She’s my sistah.  Everyone hugs Sara J., who says she is on unemployment now, and $25,000 is great!  Young Sun is all “I thought Michelle would be here forever” and Lola is all “wah Michelle is my friend.”

9:01:  LOLA I WANT YOU TO GO HOME.  She’s in the confessional now, talking a lot about herself, lord I loathe her.  Blah blah, introduction, blah blah prizes, blah blah CHINA’S STUPID RED DRESS WHY.  Ungh.

9:02:  Hahaha, Young Sun is blow-drying his hair in a pinky-purple bathroom.  I love him.  Kymia, drinking a purple smoothie, talks about how she doesn’t want to make anymore shitty art.  And then we see Young Sun and Dusty eating bananas.  Heh.  The artists leave their loft and walk to Tribec, it looks like such a beautiful NYC day.  I want to go to there.

9:03:  The artists find China and Young Sun in front of tables, with cash boxes.  The artists will display their work on said tables, and they will try to sell their art on the street–and also display said work in the gallery.  Dilemma artists!  Sarah K. is pretty overwhelmed.  But she won’t be alone!  The challenge is a team challenge, and you get to pick your partners.

9:04:  Sara J. won last week, so she gets to pick her partner.  She picks Young.  Kymia picks Dusty, because Lola is evil, and Lola gets paired with my boobtastic friend Sarah K.  I need to note, here, that China’s outfit is so fluorescent, I can’t handle it.  Anyways, the artists will have 5 hours to plan and create, two hours to sell, and it has to be physical art.  The winning team gets $30,000 and cannot be eliminated, amazing!

9:05:  The groups split to plan.  Sara J. can do rapid watercolors and has created street art before.  Young Sun is thinking t-shirts.  Kymia doesn’t like the idea of selling out, and wants to make “donation” post cards for “supporting” artists.  Dusty, who has t-shirt company called Dirt Shirts, wants to make shirts.

9:06:  Sarah K. wants to make crafty feathery headdresses and also t-shirts!  She’s talking a lot and really really rapidly and Lola is confused.  And then Lola is all: “So I’ll take a picture of myself naked and write some stuff on it because people like sex and naked pictures!”  Lola says “I don’t really want to get naked but i will do anything.”  Girlfriend has no soul at all, I hate her.

9:07:  Everyone runs to American Apparel to get some shirts and get some underwear and stuff.  The artists can shop anywhere, and yet everyone runs to American Apparel to get some damn t-shirts.

9:08:  Young Sun and Sara J. decide to get some tiny shorts.  Young Sun says his boyfriend loves his round and petite and shapely butt and that his butt will sell t-shirts.  Okay! They also arrive at the studio first and raid the supplies.  I think the other artists have gone to Utrecht or some other stores?

9:09:  Oh, right, Dusty and Kymia are at Utrecht.  Sara J. and Young Sun are going nuts in the gallery and are creating REALLY rapidly good for them.  Young Sun, of course, is painting men’s briefs to sell.  I love him.  Sarah J. and Lola finally arrive at the studio and are annoyed that Sara J. and Young Sun have already pilged the supplies.

9:10:  Kymia and Dusty are in the van still and are freaking out because they only have two hours to create art and return to the park to sell their work.  Actually, I take that back–Kymia is freaking out, Dusty is just looking exasperated.  Aaaand commercial!

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Work of Art Liveblog, Episode 3: Make it Pop

Once again it is Wednesday, and once again it is time for another amazing Work of Art episode and a hopefully amazing Work of Art liveblog.  Just a refresher: last week we our fourteen contestants were now thirteen, and they still had names like Sucklord and Jazz-Minh (ungh), and the contestants weathered their second challenge.   Oh also, Jeanne from last season was the guest judge, I love her.  The artists had to create exhibits based on movement as embodied by Parkour.  Bayete won with his simple yet moving video piece, and Kathryn lost with her stagnant, academically limited video piece.  Also, ugly crying.   Farewell Kathryn,  you may have looked like Lisa Loeb, but your ivory tower ramblings and overuse of the phrase “visceral tableau” (and ugly crying) were dreadful.

Farewell, Kathryn

This week the artists are tasked to create a piece of POP (yes, they spelled POP in all caps in the episode summary) art that reflects current popular culture.  I’m guessing they’ll be going to visit the Andy Warhol sculpture near Union Square?  Let us get to it!

9:00:  Heeeey we’re back!  Guess who just had a big margarita?  THIS GIRL.  This will be awesome.  The survivors trickle back to the loft and recap the critique for those who did not see it, I basically recapped it above, so no worries y’all.

9:01:  CHINA YOUR DUMB DRESS STILL HAS A HOLE IN IT WTF.  Ungh.  We’re going to have to look at this shit all season y’all.

9:02:  Michelle talks about how being in the top two for two times in a row is making her nervous, because she could just as easily be in the bottom.  Suxor.  Anyways, everyone’s on their way to Simon’s gallery on Park Avenue.  I’ve been by there!  Young Sun says it is like going to the house of royalty.  When they get to the gallery they have a line of tin cans to follow.  I’m guessing this is their ANDY WARHOL INTRODUCTION?!

9:03:  OH SNAP IT IS.  The artists arrive in a room filled with blank tin cans, with an Andy Warhol Campbell’s Soup Can canvas hanging in midair (seemingly).  Sarah K. is all “Oh wow I’m seeing it in person” (which, girl, come on, Andy’s art is all about reproduction so he doesn’t really give a shit whether or not you ever saw it in person) and Young Sun is all “my last piece was inspired by Andy.  Of course.

9:04:  POP IS BOLD.  POP IS BRAVE.  POP IS SEX.  POP IS LIFE.  POP IS FRESH.  POP IS POLITICAL.  SO MAKE IT POP.  Simon said all that (of course), right after China, in a weird turquoise jacket thing with giant black dots, tells the artists that their task is to make a pop art piece.  Oh goody, this should be awesome.

9:05:  Utrecht Art Supplies!  The budget for each artist is $150.  Jazz-Minh doesn’t know pop culture, because she’s a HIPPIE.  The Sucklord is going to make a giant piece about Charlie Sheen, complete with tiger’s blood and warlock dust.  He also needs Lola to pose naked for him, because he needs a naked sexy lady.  Okie dokie.

9:06:  Young Sun and Dusty and Tewz discuss their feelings on pop art.  Tewz feels that he could be a contender to win because he loves Nintendo and Mutant Ninja Turtles.  He’s making a Fad-X truck, which will ship in pop art, that could be funny.  It will probably be awful. Kymia believes that pop art is about art that sells you something; she’s making an environmental piece about water bottles…

9:07:…And she’s photographing herself naked for it!  Lots of boobies in this challenge y’all.  Dusty’s going to do a piece on fast food, because his dad has had heart attacks, and because he lives in Arkansas and I guess they only have fast food in Arkansas?  I don’t know y’all.

9:08:  Sucklord is attracted to Lola, despite having a girlfriend, who will cut his balls off if he says something about being attracted to Lola, which he does anyways.  He does not, btw, photograph Lola naked.  I guess I misunderstood. Leon decides to do a picture of American countries sort of juxtaposed against an American flag.  He does it on glass.  Pretty.  Jazz-Minh is doing a piece based on Brittany grimacing for the papparazzi.  She’s going to base it on Warhol’s Marilyns.

9:09:  AHHHH JAZZ-MINH HAS ONE OF THOSE SCARY INSIDE LIP TATTOOS.  HERS SAYS “BITE ME”.  SHE SUCKS SO MUCH.  Her sister’s evidently says “epic as fuck” and so she got her stupid inner lip tattoo as a show of solidarity.  I hate Jazz-Minh so much y’all.

9:10:  Michelle, who says her art isn’t really pop at all, is painting a bunch of Coca-Cola cans.  She asks “is this too derivative” and everyone, including me, is all “YES THIS IS DERIVATIVE.”  Girl.  Commercial break y’all!

OH MY GOD GUYS I JUST HIT UPDATE AND IT DIDN’T SAVE, SO I LOST EVERYTHING BETWEEN COMMERCIAL BREAKS.  I WILL TRY TO RECAP DURING THE NEXT COMMERCIAL BREAK BECAUSE I LOVE YOU ALL.  I am mad at my blog now though, however.  Ungh.

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