Tag: Spanx

I return, bearing news!

Hi Internet! I’m not going to make any excuses about how I have been so busy blah blah blah, because they don’t exist. I just didn’t feel like writing! Work was work and life was life and none of it felt particularly blog-worthy (although there were a few blog-worthy moments that I will endeavor to capture now that I am reappearing) so I decided not to worry about it.

But guys, something totally blog-worthy happened this past weekend! Jon and I got engaged! YAY!

This wasn’t particularly a surprise–we’d picked out the ring together in February and Jon was keeping me mostly-updated on the ring’s progress in terms of its being made and returned to him. Due to timeline issues (his not getting the ring back as quickly as he would have liked, my working last weekend for the Durham Art Walk, and both of our parents going out of the country this past Saturday) I was 99% certain it would happen sometime on Saturday. Lo and behold, I was correct!

I don’t have any pictures of the actual proposal because that’s sort of weird (I once witnessed a proposal at Duke Gardens–not like, on purpose, I was just there when it happened–and there was a photographer that the groom had clearly hired to snap pictures of the scene, said photographer was skulking around in the bushes like a stalker and it was extremely off-putting). In lieu of photos I’ll try to set the scene:

Jon commanded that I be up and ready to enter the world (hair, makeup, Spanx), at 9:00am on Saturday morning. Usually I am at the gym then so I said “okie dokie” and rearranged my schedule. I came downstairs to find Jon cooking up a breakfast storm. He’d set up our little patio with a table cloth so we could eat outside (weird mid-April cold snap be damned). Mid-way through my eating he was all “I’m going to get a napkin!” Because I am an over-analyzer I initially thought “Oh he’s totally going to go get the ring” and then I thought “No that would be too obvious he’s just going to get a napkin.” But, nope, he got the ring guys (In case you can’t tell I don’t really like surprises and I am also incredibly hard to surprise–he claims he proposed at breakfast to throw me off but, nope, I don’t miss anything). Actually, he got a little Russian Nesting Doll that he had custom-ordered and then hand-painted with amazing and awesome detail:

 

 

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LOOK HOW TALENTED MY SPOUSAL CANDIDATE* IS!!! He paints Warhammer 40K and other small figures for fun and he’s in dental hygiene school so I shouldn’t be surprised by how good his detail work is but I still am because he’s the best. These pictures are of the individual pieces of the Nesting Doll–obviously they were assembled when he brought it out. The top layer is lots of little pictures of us throughout our relationship, including photos of our families, cut out and then sealed onto an incredibly elaborate background. The middle layer is a black cat, because we have two black cats with whom we are obsessed duh. The bottom layer has Personal Sentimental Message of Significance that I will not share with you and it also had the ring on it (as demonstrated above). How awesome is that guys? Jon is so awesome. Here is another photo:

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So uh, I think I took too long analyzing each layer because Jon was all: “Keep opening it more layers!” and then next thing I knew he was on his knee in front of me doing that whole ask the question thing and I think I said “yes” and then “duh” and then I was like “Are you supposed to put this on me? I’ve never done this before.” And then he put the ring on my finger and we were engaged and now my left hand looks like this (what, you thought you weren’t getting any ring shots, even blurry ones taken with my phone? I totally thought I wouldn’t be That Person but you only get engaged once**) :

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And a profile shot because it shows off the stone really nicely.

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So since we got engaged super early in the morning we were able to call our parents before they went on their trips (not a bad way to kick off their vacations), and then we called a lot of other people, and then we put it on Facebook and got a bazillion messages (oh, social media). That was fun.

What else did we do on our Engagement Saturday? Well when we finally got out of the house around 12:30 we went to Geer Street Garden, in Durham. Though it has been open nearly two years I have never been, but I had a pretty delicious grilled pimento cheese sandwich. Then, because that wasn’t enough dairy for me, we went to The Parlour’s new brick-and-mortar store on Market Street (HOORAY SO GLAD THEY HAVE A STORE) where I deviated from my normal Salted Butter Caramel and tried their Ginger and Dulce de Leche ice cream which was so unbelievably amazing I can hardly stand it. There was some sort of bourbon and crawfish festival happening in the plaza outside of The Parlour but we did not go because lines, lines, lines, although we did hear some off-brand faux-Second Line Band New Orleans-y music. Saturday was beautiful, sunny and in the 60s, and so naturally we decided to spend the rest of it indoors at the Carolina Theatre’s Evolution of the Groovy Movie film festival. We saw Little Shop of Horrors (with the original director’s ending where everyone dies at the end and can we also please have a moment of silence for the brilliant Howard Ashman) and we also saw Weird Science (which I had never seen before–I know). When the movies were over we wandered over to Fullsteam for a bit to have drinks with some friends who were over there. And then we went home, ordered Thai take-out, and watched The Borgias and the first episode of the new SyFy show Defiance (fun and silly). So, you know, basically it was an awesome day.

And now I am engaged and that’s my little engagement story! They don’t tell you this in Life School guys, but the proposal moment goes by really fast–although that just could be because my brain got fuzzy when I saw the Russian Nesting Doll because despite expecting the proposal I had feelings (those are all the sentiments to which I am admitting). I’m going to try to have this not be a wedding blog for the next year or so but no promises, you know? I’m a planner (and I do a lot of event planning for a living) and I love talking about plans and getting married is exciting!

Anyways, at least the next few posts won’t be wedding-related. I have some fun Game of Thrones photos to share, and maybe I’ll start posting about my Triangle adventures again, who knows? Just wanted to share this little life event with y’all on the Great Wide Internet!

*Jon and I don’t really like the term “fiance.” I once saw someone jokingly spell the word “feyonce” on a wedding blog site and that made me laugh, so sometimes I use that term in writing. However, I read this Offbeat Bride post about other terms to use in lieu of “fiance” so I’m testing a few of them out. Although I totally failed today, y’all, someone with whom I am vaguely acquainted asked me how my boyfriend was and I chirped “fiance!” and then held up my left hand and then I felt ALL THE SHAME because I was *that person* and so I hid my hands beneath the table for the rest of our (blessedly brief) conversation.

**Hopefully!

3 Days to Dragon*Con: Companion Cube (An Almost-Final Shot)

 

 

The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Companion Cube cannot speak. In the event that the Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.

Here are a few shots from my nearly-completed Companion Cube dress!  I need to add a few more details to the dress, figure out the wig a bit more, finalize my makeup (wasn’t wearing much tonight, and you can tell!) and better affix the cube to the headband…Oh, and put on some damn Spanx.  This is why I rarely leave the house without wearing Spanx–they make you look 10 pounds thinner!!!

Anyways, enough about Spanx, I’ll be wearing them at Dragon*Con!  MORE PHOTOS.

So that’s the dress!  I think it is pretty cute–if not too complicated, which was sort of what I was going for with this costume, since my other costumes are so complicated!  I plan on pairing it with gray tights and silver ballet flats.  SUPER CUTE RIGHT?

I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn’t come, because you murdered him.

 

Work of Art, Jerry Saltz’s Recap of Episode 5

Every week Jerry Saltz writes a recap of Work of Art for NYMagazine.  In case you forgot, Mr. Saltz is one of the judges on Work of Art and he is also the senior art critic for NYMagazine.  I enjoy the recaps almost more than I enjoy (or hate-enjoy) the show.  They help explain the reasoning and critiques of the judges and also de-mystify the reality show process.  For instance, the judging committee is told nothing about the contestants.  Everything they learn they learn via the critiques or by watching the television show.

I also love the recaps because of the comments section.  Mr. Saltz (okay, I’ll call him Jerry, because that’s how I talk to him in the comments), takes the time to read all of these comments and often responds to them.  He encourages his readers to talk about and write about and think about art; I love how he wants to make art and art criticism less scary and more popular.  I hope that he succeeds.

Each week I’ll be posting the link to Mr. Jerry’s recaps and I’ll also be quoting a selection from the article.  This week we had kids, and kid art that was better than most of the art that was made, and Tewz was eliminated (bye Tewz!  I didn’t like your name either).   You can read my thoughts on all of that in my liveblog.

So, here is the link to Jerry’s recap and here is some good stuff from it.  Not art-related this week, but still hilarious and awesome:

“Since artist vulnerabilities are coming out, I’ll share one of my own. An hour before taping, I’m standing in my underpants in front of the show’s gorgeous twentysomething stylist, Zoe, thinking to myself, Drink in the macho, baby! Zoe quietly looks me over and says, “Um, Jerry. Do you like spanks?” Wow! The old male magic is still sizzling! I heard this generation is kinky! She wants to spank me! Here. In a reality TV dressing room! With the door partly open! Then she holds up a teeny-weenie doll-sized elastic undershirt thingy. “This is a Spanx,” she says. A girdle. My ego retracts, turtlehead-like. Ditto my genitals. Reality TV isn’t just making me look fat. The free food I’ve been grazing on for weeks is showing! I ask Zoe if this garment is “a fat repressor.” Carefully not using terms like “muffin top” or “s’more,” she says, “Spanx are trimming.” I wedge myself into it. I had no idea what kind of constricting strangulation goes on under some women’s clothes.”

I told Jerry in the comments section that I wear some form of Spanx almost every day, and he said to me, and I quote: “WOW! You are God-like and string [sic]. I found it unbearable, like putting a tee-shirt on a cat…  ”

Aw, Jerry called me God-like and string.  I mean strong!  Thanks Jerry!

Freaky Fridays: Zombies and Sluts! Zombie sluts!

Hi guys!

Firstly, Raleigh’s Zombie Walk is tomorrow and you should totally come!  The zombies will be meeting up by the acorn in Moore Square around 6:30-7:00 and then we’ll start shuffling (everyday we’re shuffling).  Even if you aren’t interested in zombie-ing it up you should come, the people watching should be fantastic!  The after party will be at Tir na Nog.  Be there or be brains!

This week The Hairpin had an excellent costume post on sexy Halloween costumes.  Don’t you hate how girls use Halloween as an excuse to slut and sex it up?  People do that at Dragon*Con too.  I don’t know, maybe it is because I wear Spanx every day and slutty outfits don’t really cover Spanx, but the slutty nurse/policewoman/librarian Halloween look just isn’t for me.  However, if the slutty look is for you–no judgment if it is!  I have a flabby stomach that requires Spanx granny panties so I can’t do that look!–and you are considering ideas other than sexy accountant, then you should totally check out some of these looks from the Hairpin:

Jillian Tamaki for The Hairpin.

See, this I can get behind.  I have a friend this year who is thinking of making a slutty bacon costume.  That’s awesome!  I’d totally eat me some slutty bacon.

I am trying to figure out what “version” of zombie to dress as tomorrow.  Business zombie?  Pajama zombie?  SLUTTY ZOMBIE?  Someone tell me so I can put my clothing together!  And I hope to see y’all tomorrow in Raleigh!