Tag: Work of Art: The Next Great Artist

Work of Art, Episode 7: La Dolce Arte

Once again it is Wednesday, and once again it is time for another amazing Work of Art episode and a hopefully amazing Work of Art liveblog.  Just a refresher: TWO WEEKS AGO (Oh, Thanksgiving, wreaking havoc with my television schedule) we only had eight contestants, and we had a team-based challenge!   Each contestant was randomly paired with another and they were tasked to create a piece of street art.  Kymia and Sara J. and Young Sun and Dusty made fantastic, cohesive pieces of art.  Young Sun and Dusty won, and they also won $15,000 each!  Sucklord and Sarah K. and Michelle and Lola (who I hate), made less-good artwork, and unfortunately our dear the Sucklord was sent home.  This is a shame–he should have rocked the street art, but I think he was full of fear, which leads to anger, which leads to hatred, which leads to the Dark Side, etc.  We will miss you a lot, Sucklord, you brought quite a bit of personality and entertainment to this competition.  Also, nerd pride.

You shall not pass.

This week we come to our official product placement challenge (remember last season’s car-inspired challenge?  Ungh).   Our remaining artists must utilize a component from a Fiat 500 and turn it into art!  I am really bored by this challenge already, y’all.

9:00: ART ART ART.  The Sucklord, alas, is gone.  Everyone is sad, because the fun and slightly sexually offensive Sucklord is gone.  Who will have sex with all the girls?  Who will be loud and obnoxious.

9:01:  Lola still sees “potential romance” for her and Sucklord whaaaat?  Girl, he has a girlfriend, and you are terrible.  Oh, also, Dusty now has to wear Young Sun’s short shorts because they won the challenge.  This is awesome because Young Sun is a tiny Gaysian and Dusty is from Arkansas.  He takes the whole thing well, and puts on the shorts, because he is a man of his word.  That was fun, and probably the high point of the episode y’all.

9:02:  INTRO.  CHINA’S DRESS STILL HAS A HOLE IN IT.  THIS BOTHERS ME SO MUCH GUYS.

9:03:  Kymia voice-overs about what a bitch Lola is, which is totally true.  Lola is terrible guys.  In the meantime, everyone heads off to the challenge.  We head to the gallery and there is lots of Fiat stuff laid out everywhere.  Sarah K. calls it beautiful.  I’m not really a car person, so I am not that interested by this.  Evidently Sarah K.’s father owns an auto shop.  wel there you go.

9:04:  Some Italian words about Italian cars, and some French-accented words from Simon Pury about artists, like Richard Prince and John Chamberlain, who have used cars as an inspiration for art.  The artists’ challenge is to create a work of art using at least one part from the Fiat 500.  The artist with the best piece gets $25,000.  Damn, kids, they are throwing the money around in this competition.

9:05:  Running around collecting parts montage!!!  No one knows what they are making, so everyone is confused!

9:06:  Wow, they’ve cleaned out the place.  The artists roll their car parts up to the studio.  Hurr.  Many of the artists don’t know anything about cars.  This should be fun!  Michelle is super excited about it–i hope that she recovers her happiness and light and talent from the mess Lola made of it last week.

9:07:  Hahahaha, Sara J. doesn’t know how to drive.  Oi.  Lola once again is all: “I have so many ideas.  I don’t know what I am doing!  La la la la la.”  However, I sort of like her idea of fossilizing the objects.

9:08:  Kymia actually got the key to the car, hilarious.  She’s going to grind down the key and make it look like stardust–key to the car, key to the universe, etc.   Dusty is now going to put the lotion on his skin (or else he gets the hose again).  No, he’s doing lotion to make a mold of his face.

9:09:  Wow, Dusty….isn’t taking that many precautions with his facial mold.  Jesus this is scary.  Kymia helps him, thankfully.  Also he has a BEARD, wow that is going to HURT when it comes off y’all.  I’m mildly terrified, but we’re going to have to wait through the commercials to see what happens.

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Work of Art Liveblog, Episode 4: Back to School

Once again it is Wednesday, and once again it is time for another amazing Work of Art episode and a hopefully amazing Work of Art liveblog.  Just a refresher: last week we our thirteen contestants were now twelve, and they still had names like Sucklord and Jazz-Minh (ungh), and the contestants weathered their third challenge.   This challenge required the contestants to make a pop art piece inspired by Andy Warhol, and the guest judge was pop artist and Andy Warhol lover Rob Pruitt.  Oh, also, it was a double elimination.  DOOM.  Young Sun won with his pink and interactive anti-Proposition 8 piece, and he also got a big spread in Entertainment Weekly.  Kymia should have won with her boobs and water bottle piece but boobs are not allowed in Entertainment Weekly, so I think she sabotaged herself.  Dusty, Jazz-Minh (ungh), Leon and Michelle were in the bottom four, and Leon and Jazz-Minh were eliminated.  See ya Jazz-Minh, you GDB.  Oh and also China was all “Bayete you are lucky you had elimination this week” which was bitchy and hilarious!

I'd sign language goodbye, Leon, but I just don't know how.
I hated this bitch. And the way she spelled her name was stupid. Hippie.

This week the artists are paired up with a kid(!!!) and have to make art based by the kid(!!!) and this should be hilarious.  I cannot wait to see what Sucklord does.  And how many times he curses in front of his poor kid.   Oh lord, these poor kids.

9:00:  Yay everyone is sitting around at the loft and waiting and being nervous yay…and in comes Young Sun and Kymia and Dusty and Michelle.  Dusty is all “my family, I need to get back on track for my family” and Young is all “yay I won but I don’t have immunity so, balls.”

9:01:  Oh man they have a little chalk board list with everyone’s birthdays and zodiac signs and ages and people are being CROSSED OFF as they get eliminated.  That is awesome.  You know what isn’t awesome?  CHINA’S STUPID RED DRESS THAT HAS A HOLE IN IT.

9:02:  The sun rises over New York City, and our intrepid artists head out for the day, and discover a studio filled with CHILDREN.  WHAAAAT.  Sucklord is perplexed because there is a little girl sitting at his desk.  He immediately says “I AM THE SUCKLORD” and that poor kid looks so confused.

9:03:  Michelle is paired with a boy who is drawing a scorpion tail and he regards her kid with a bit of fear.  Dusty is all over this challenge because he teaches 5th graders.  Bayete is pretty much worried that the kids will draw better than he can which, valid.  Oh hey China has bangs now, when did that happen.  They look good!

9:04:  Look!  Sarah Jessica Parker!  Kymia calls her a “fairy art-mother” which is awesome.  SJP introduces the kids who are from Studio in a School, and they are from the NYC public school system.  Dusty is super thrilled about this whole thing.  Each kid has brought a work of art they have done, and the challenge is to create a work of art that is inspired by and compliments the kids’ works of art.

9:05:  SJP gets to be a judge i think?  Random observation: Lola looks like Eliza Dushku.  So, we meet the kids.  Sara P. has a little girl named Zelda who has made a word collage.  Dusty is paired with a boy named Kei, who has a piece with a lot of negative space.  Liora and Isabel, who are with Bayete I think, have this lovely line drawing piece, and their work has already been in a gallery lucky her.  Marlo, who is with Sarah K., did a silhouette piece.

9:06:  Reynie, who is with Sucklord, did a painting of a Harry Potter tree thing.  Sucklord is thrilled by Reynie because she was raised by parents who had Star Wars figures on top of their wedding cake, so she’s a big nerd too!  Victory!

9:07:  SJP and China leave.  Gabriel, who is with Sun, did a bird mobile.  Kyle, who is with Tewz, did some kind of a vegetable piece?  i have no idea.  Anyways everyone is brainstorming now.  Lola’s kid is all “oh no, doom,” which, yeah.

9:08:  Kymia is paired with a girl named Alana, whose piece is a carrot on a beach.  This really stumps Kymia because, I mean, a carrot on a beach?  But Alana appears to be full of like, stories, of this little girl who eats carrots and has dropped her carrot and likes carrots or something like that?  Anyways, the kids all go away now.

9:09:  And our contestants go to Utrecht.  We get Lola’s backstory.  Her mom dated Al Pacino for TEN YEARS which is INSANE LOLA WHY HAVE YOU NOT TOLD US THIS BEFORE?!?!  Wow.  Tewz, who had one of the vegetable pieces by a kid named Kyle, decides to make a piece about the idea of growth and growing, using the word “grow.”  I hope he makes it all grafftti and what not.  Oh also evidently his graffiti got him a scholarship to the Art Institute of Chicago, which is cool.  Yay Tewz.

9:10:  Sucklord is worried about letting his kid down.  He’s getting all choked up about the kid.  aw, Sucklord has a heart.  Sucklord is GROWING on me guys, I know he seems like such a douche but maybe he isn’t really a douche?   Sucklord loves being around kids, probably because he’s a big kid himself.  That’s sort of adorable.  And I was all worried about how he’d handle this, guess I was wrong!

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Work of Art Liveblog, Episode 1: Kitsch Me If You Can

Guys!  Work of Art: The Next Great Artist is back on Bravo and, like last season, I’ll be liveblogging it!  I’ve looked over all the bios on the website and these are my  initial superficial judgments observations:

Leon, 31:  His most notable trait will be that he is a deaf artist originally from Malaysia.

Dusty, 32:  He will spend the entirety of his time on television talking about his daughter and how he misses his family.

Kathryn, 29:  She went to Yale for her MFA and she is into those awesome wax figures people used to teach anatomy back in the day in Europe.  She is also trying really hard to be Lisa Loeb.  She will probably be pretentious.

Lola, 24: She’s a snake charmer!  A snake charmer named Lola!

Sarah, 34: One of two Sara/hs, this one is from Cleveland, and I know someone who knows someone who knows her.  I like her dress.

Jazz-Minh, 32:  I don’t have anything to say about her except that her name is absolutely stupid and that I hope she pronounces it stupidly.

Kymia, 30:  I feel like I should know her because she was at the University of Florida getting her MFA while I was there studying Art History.  It is a small department, why don’t I recognize her!  Anyways, Go Gators.

Tewz, 31:  I couldn’t even read his bio because he also has a stupid name.  What is with these people.

The Sucklord, 42: Okay so, I like that he has a geek aesthetic, and nerd interests, that is really cool, but the name, really?!  And his bio picture is just dumb.  Whatever, here’s praying that he’s entertaining.

Ugo, 34:  Was your name Hugo and did you take the H off?  Whyyyyy.

Sarah, 26: She will always be confused with Sarah with an “H.”

Bayete, 34:  I know someone who knows him!

Michelle, 29:  Ginger.

Young Sun, 28:  His pink pants are really fierce.

I know, none of that had anything to do with art, nor was it particularly insightful, but I like to think I have good character judgment.

Image from http://www.bravotv.com/work-of-art

Of course we have some folks back from last season too, including judges Bill Powers, China Chow and her gravity-defying wardrobe, and my most favorite the amazing Jerry SaltzSimon de Pury and his charm will be filling in the Tim Gunn role as mentor.

So according to the Bravo website during this first episode, Kitsch Me If You Can, the artists will “use pieces of ‘bad’ art, such as a painting of dogs playing checkers, a velvet cowboy, and a sculptural golden peacock as their canvas.”  Sigh, this will be amazing.  Join me back here at 9:00 to witness the carnage!

9:00 And we’re off!  World Famous Brooklyn Museum!  Cover story in Blue Magazine!  $100,000 from Fiat!  Prizes!  China your dress has a hole in it!  Jerry Saltz is looking for an artist who can fail flamboyantly (I wanted to write flail flamboyantly!)  and, oh, I hope we see some flamboyant failures!

9:02:  Kymia and The Sucklord are the first to arrive at the Brooklyn Museum.  Kymia is from Durham!  Durham and the University of Florida, you go girl. The Sucklord compares himself to Andy Warhol, in that Andy had soup cans and he had stormtroopers.  I respect that.

9:03: Dusty is next, he has a neat work with crayons, and he is from Arkansas and you can tell.  Ugo arrives fourth, and The Sucklord hates his work.  I guess all the artists have self portaits up at the Brooklyn Museum as little introductions?

9:04: Young Sun is fifth to arrive and his self portrait is him naked, with his terminally ill parents in the background.  This is his final family portrait.  Good lord.   Jazz-Minh was born on a hippy commune.  No really?!  Lola arrives seventh.  Lola finds The Sucklord attractive.  I mean, I’m down with the nerd factor, but absolutely not.

9:05:  Lisa Loeb/Kathryn is next!  She likes visceral tableaus.  She’ll use the word visceral and tableau a lot. Leon and Tewz arrive together, Leon has an interpreter with him, which is positive!  I was wondering how they would handle Leon being deaf.

9:06:  Tewz has been arrested for doing graffiti in Chicago!  He’s the Banksy of the bunch.  And he has a stupid name.  Michelle, who isn’t really a ginger, has arrived at some point and she made a gorgeous sculptural portrait of her head, constructed out of paper.  Sarah with an H’s self portrait is lots of her head in a party banner.  She is perky, Lola doesn’t like perky.  Lola’s going to be a bitch.  Sara without an h has this water-color looking scorpion thing.  Bayete is a video artist, respect!

9:07:  China, in a purple gossamer bondage dress arrives with Simon de Pury.  I love how she pronounces his name.  BE BOLD.  BE BRAVE.  BE AMAZING.  He’s the best.

9:08:  Simon de Pury already knows The Sucklord!  He has bought and sold The Sucklord’s art!  Impressive, Sucklord.

9:09:  The reason we are at the Brooklyn Museum–besides everyone seeing each other’s self portraits–is so that the comtestants can see the actual hall where the winner’s art will be shown.  The space is full of work that looks straight from Regretsy.  The Sucklord informs one of the contestants that a picture of a wizard is, in fact, Gandalf.  He also knows Gandalf’s sword’s name (Glamdring).   The Sucklord really likes the art, because he is into pop culture and kitsch and doesn’t seem to take this stuff too seriously.  The other contestants, not so much.

9:10:  And this is their first challenge!  They need to pick one of the kitschy pieces from the gallery and use it in work of art!  And then they have not a ton of time to make it work!  The Sucklord of course picks the Gandalf painting.  Is it bad that I really like The Sucklord?

9:11:  Is it also bad that part of me thinks/hopes that most of these contestants will produce works that are inferior to these Regretsy, kitschy pieces?  Thus far I am thinking that Lola and Jazz-Minh (UNGH) are going to be the biggest Bs btw.

9:12:  AND OFF TO THE STUDIO.  Zoom in on a saxophone-playing bear, commercial break!

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